Zombie Book Club
Welcome to Zombie Book Club! We're a Podcast that's also a book club! We talk about Zombie / Apocalyptic horror novels, TV and movies.
Zombie Book Club
(PART 2) ZombieWeen Game Show 2024 | Zombie Book Club Podcast Ep 67
What if you found yourself in a post-apocalyptic world with a zombie named Guillermo? Join us on a wild ride through the hilariously chaotic Zombieween Game Show 2024, where our contestants share their strategies for surviving with humor, creativity, and fart parties.
Sylvester Barzey Links:
https://sylvesterbarzey.com/
Buy Sylvester’s Books! https://76620d-2.myshopify.com/
https://www.instagram.com/sylvesterbarzey/
Laurie Calcaterra Links:
Path of the Pale Rider https://pathofthepalerider.wpcomstaging.com/
https://www.instagram.com/lauriecalcaterra
Nailah King Links:
Read The Decentres
Join the Black Horroritage Challenge
Support me on Ko-fi
Jack Callaghan Links:
Zombie Nerd and the Half-Term Harrowing: https://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Nerd-Half-Term-Harrowing-Callaghan/dp/1916756042
https://www.instagram.com/jackcallaghanauthor/
Jayel Draco & Lynsey G
Oneshi Press https://www.oneshipress.com/
MR. GUY: ZOMBIE HUNTER Website: https://mrguycomic.com
Zombie Adoption Program: https://www.instagram.com/adoptionzombie/
Jo Salazar:
Website: https://www.josalazarwriting.com/
Buy the The Dead Weight
https://www.instagram.com/_jo_salazar_
Follow our linktree for social media links, and links to all the places you can find our podcast!
https://linktr.ee/zombiebookclub
Join the Brain Muncher’s Zombie Collective: https://discord.gg/rn3nPDa4CB
Zombie Book Club Voicemail
(614) 699-0006
Zombie Book Club Email
ZombieBookClubPodcast@gmail.com
Our Secret Website That Isn't Finished
https://zombiebookclub.io
Our Merchandise Store (Where you can find our Evil Magic Chicken Zombie Shirts)
https://zombie-book-club.myspreadshop.com
Based on how much time we have left. We'll either have one more round, based on the three people that are left, or we'll have a semifinal and a final, and that will depend on where we're at with time. Sound good to everybody?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay. Is everybody hanging on. Yeah, how are people's energy levels doing?
Speaker 3:I don't know any of what you just said. I don't know, jack, I love you and you're far enough away from me where you don't know where.
Speaker 1:I live. Okay, my loves, my darlings, my zombesties, we are back, welcome back. Welcome back everyone to the zombieween game show 2024. This is the second episode. I'm leah and I'm your host, with all the ghosts and I'm dan and I um I'm uh you're grasping desperately to the material plane of existence.
Speaker 1:I am, yeah, thank you, you're welcome. First, in this episode we're going to reintroduce all of our contestants, including the two who are a power couple who, uh, thought that this was on mountain time and not eastern time. They've joined us. Then we will have we'll have a wild card round and then I will decide randomly if we will have two more rounds or one, depending on how much time we have. At the end of the day, we will have two or three. We'll find out people battling it out for the ultimate zombie ween crown and the eliminated contestants. Everybody else who's here gets to vote for the ultimate winner. So stay tuned. You get to have arbitrary opinions, just like the rest of us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, emphasis on the arbitrary, totally arbitrary.
Speaker 1:Ultimately, the contestant who impresses their peers with the most creativity, humor and strategy will get that crown on Lori's head, or Lori gets to keep it, and there's also a pick of a special, possibly terrible, prize at the end that the winner gets to pick.
Speaker 1:it is definitely terrible so, contestants, have fun, be silly, be serious. Feel free to break the rules, like you already just did in the last episode, because there aren't any, and I am officially making this up as I go but just make sure everybody has space to shine in their beautiful, zombasty ways. Let the zombie ween showdown begin.
Speaker 2:Sound effects.
Speaker 1:DJ Khaled. We're going to kick off this episode with a shameless self-promotion icebreaker, or brain breaker as I like to call them. You're going to introduce yourself, what you want to promote and answer this question. In the post-apocalyptic world, your book, your comic series is one of a very few accessible records left from the before times. Survivors turn to it not just for knowledge, but for hope and guidance. What's the one crucial lesson or tip from your creative works that would help someone stay alive in this new zombie infested world? And we are going to start off with the folks who just got here JL and Lindsay. Please introduce yourself, what you want to promote and answer this question.
Speaker 4:Well, hi, I'm Lindsay. I'm the editor in chief of Oneshi Press.
Speaker 5:I'm JL. I am the lead illustrator and designer of Oneshi Press. I guess we can both answer this separately.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Yeah, ok, so I would say from the book that I am finishing now, which should be out to market hopefully within a month or two um, our kickstarter backers will, of course, get it first. But, mr guy, zombie hunter act three, the last of it, teaches us a very important lesson. When you are in the zombie apocalypse and you've been deep in it for a while, you start to miss the creature comforts of your old life. And, no matter how tempted you may be, if you find an old bag of cheese noms, don eat them, just don't. You're better off getting fresh, you know whatever you can forage, than eating an old bag of cheese noms from the before times there's a consequence we don't know about yet that we gotta wait for it in episode
Speaker 1:three, chapter three.
Speaker 4:Okay, good to know, lindsey, what's your answer uh, so I guess I will choose a different series, since he just gave us some advice from Mr Guy. So I'll go with Tracy Queen, which is a series that I write, which is about an adult star who develops a cyborg clone army to protect herself, aka take over the world. So I think that my zombie apocalypse advice from the world of tracy queen would probably be if you meet a talking raccoon stealing your drugs, become friends with the raccoon because that raccoon is going to come in majorly handy.
Speaker 4:not only does the raccoon have little hands and have knowledge that you're not privy to, because he is in fact an animal that you are not, he's just a really good companion, and you can get away with a lot of stuff when you just pretend that he's just a raccoon and has no idea what he's doing. So that's my advice.
Speaker 1:I kind of love that. I had a pet raccoon. That was a stuffed animal named bandit as a child, so I love that, lori.
Speaker 3:Lori, you're up. Uh, hello everybody. I am laurie calcaterra, fruit ninja, reigning zombie wing queen from last year, and, uh, I am the writer, creator of the apocalypse western series path of the pale rider. Um, where zombies have rights and we ask lots of ethical questions. Um, in the post-apocalyptic world, one thing that you should do from my story is learn sign language. Sound will get you killed, because right around that corner is an undead bear taking up the whole road, and if you do anything to wake him up, god help you, because you can't kill it and you can't run, and you can't climb trees and it can swim. How do you get away from those things? So, instead of communicating verbally, learn some sign language. It's great for swearing at people who don't understand sign language as well. They have no idea. You just call them a douchebag.
Speaker 1:Excellent tip, naila tell us who you are, what you want to promote and what your lesson or tip would be in the world of a zombie apocalypse from your book. So I'm Naila. I'm a horror writer. I write about haunted women being pushed to the brink. I'm promoting my Instagram. I don't think anyone would be any of my characters would be in a post-apocalyptic world just because they again do not have that much will to survive. I think the advice from the books that I write would be to be more open about binaries like alive and dead, ghost and not a ghost, and just be a little bit more open about those types of things. Get you farther in that world. That is very intriguing, I've got to say jack hello, my name is jack callahan.
Speaker 7:I'm the author of zombie nerd on the half-term harrowing and zombie nerd and the strange case of the robot exchange student, which is coming out very, very soon, and I write stuff that you've never heard before. So thank you very much, and I don't know what else to say.
Speaker 2:I mean, we've heard of some of those things, except for the new thing, that's just coming out now.
Speaker 1:Have a Robot Exchange Student on your side in the zombie apocalypse. That's the advice that I think I'm gleaning from your intro, jack sylvester all right, hello, I am sylvester farzi.
Speaker 6:I am a horror author. You guys can't see the crown, but I would look good in it. And, um, since we're all here for zombies, I am here to plug planet dead, which are currently right now, it's a three book series with some novellas, but I think the number one thing katherine would probably bestow upon you is to trust no one except for family. Found family counts, but you know you gotta wait to see if they make it to book two yeah that is very, very true.
Speaker 1:I feel like we need to write these down as, like the however many of us, there are commandments of the zombie apocalypse.
Speaker 8:Last but not least, Joe, hi everyone, I'm Joe Salazar. I am the author of the brand new book the Dead Weight 12 girls in the zombie apocalypse. Who will survive? Who is the dead weight? Um, so I think that god, gods, help us if anyone picks up this book as as a guide for surviving the zombie apocalypse, because the lesson that they will learn is if they're not us, they don't matter we're all in trouble.
Speaker 1:That's intense.
Speaker 2:Lying, murder, all good things.
Speaker 1:Depends on who you are, I guess. Well, we are incredibly happy to have you all here. Jl and Lindsay, again welcome. Thank you for joining us at 1.30pm Mountain Time. We adore you. You are just in time to possibly swoop in and be the wildcard contestants. This is our wildcard round. Right now, we have finalists Lori Calcaterra and Sylvester Barzy. There is one more slot to be had, or possibly not. I'm going to make that up later. Possibly not, I don't know. I don't know if we have time.
Speaker 2:I didn't know about that part. I believe we're gonna have a final three, but I might change my mind, because I can.
Speaker 1:Um, I promised chaos at the beginning of this, and it truly is so this is abound because we have jl and lindsey coming the first time, I'm going to have you all answer the wild card round question first and I'm going to read your wrestler intro, because it cannot be missed in this uh beautiful game show. You're all gonna have a peek into my hyper organized world. Oh, my goodness, there we go. There we go, all right and from the corner of mountain time, roaring out of the dark like a pair of cheesed off chickens, the dynamic, dynamic duo of Lindsay, doom, beast G and JL, the aspic mancer, draco, co-founders of Oneshi Press and Zombie Apocalypse Power Couple. Together they'll hack through hordes of the undead and create a community of survivors so functional you'll be super glad you were born to be a part of it. Please welcome Lindsay and JL to the house just in time for the wildcard round.
Speaker 5:Yay the house just in time for the wild card round. Yay, mountain sounds glad we could make it. We are very happy you're here. You know we had to fight our way through the hordes to get here. That's what we call mountain time fighting our way through the hordes hordes of undead bison.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what's worse an undead bison or an undead bear bear uh, if it's a grizzly bear yeah, I might go I might
Speaker 5:go bison but, a black bear bison definitely wins heard of bison sounds terrifying.
Speaker 1:all right, this is the question for you. All other than our wonderful laurie and sylvester, who are going to judge and decide who will join them as the third contestant? You're alone and sad. It's the zombie apocalypse In your shelter is a fully contained and restricted zombie that you decide to keep as a friend. What do you name them and what would you talk about? I'm going to give you 30 seconds. Jl and Lindsay, you're going to be up first with your answer. 30 seconds to deliberate everybody.
Speaker 5:Ding, ding, ding. You're up, Pencils down. So, first off, obviously we named them Guillermo, and we talk about grunts, groans, aspic doom and the food weakness.
Speaker 1:Can you explain aspic for the audience again, for those who maybe still don't know what it is? Can you?
Speaker 5:explain aspic for the audience again, for those who maybe still don't know what it is. Aspic is a medieval invention that allowed meat products to be saved and stored in cold storage by gelatinizing their juices around them. So this way it's keeping the meat safe from oxygen, which keeps it preserved longer. We saw a huge resurgence of this with the advent of Jell-O and Tupperware in the 70s, so that has since died down.
Speaker 2:Ew, that has since died down because ew, a major resurgence of aspic.
Speaker 5:Uh, due to folks like jiggle daddy ken abala, who has written many, many books about it and is a food professor. So what we have with aspic is both cursed and blessed aspic. So when we get into cursed aspic, Wow, we have talked.
Speaker 1:This is your special interest, JL. I've got a follow up. Lindsay, would you feed your friend Guillermo an aspic set of brains? Would you go out and get food for Guillermo and make it into aspic to preserve it?
Speaker 4:I don't think I would go that far. I think I might bring him stuff, but I don't. I don't think I'd be preserving brains. I'm. I don't eat meat, so that would be just like the grossest thing I could possibly do.
Speaker 5:I would do that for for Lindsay and Guillermo, though, though, because I mean, you got to think about it you have one brain. You need to preserve that so that you can portion it out and you know, help Guillermo metabolize slowly over time and not all at once, and then starve.
Speaker 1:Whose brain would you feed Guillermo?
Speaker 5:Whoever messed with us Raiders. I hate the idea of raiders. In the apocalypse, I'm going to say this Survival of the friendliest. If you're a raider, you're going to meet your doom quickly. If you think taking from other people is going to help you survive, you're sorely mistaken. The only people that are going to survive are people that can collaborate, come together, form, you know, strong unifications, and so anyone that's a raider, guillermo food.
Speaker 1:Yeah, everybody else is aspic, that is a good rule. Okay, we have. Oh, oh, sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 5:I was just going to say it's worth mentioning. Blessed aspic is a thing. There is some really gorgeous and delicious savory aspects out there.
Speaker 4:I just wanted to throw that in. It's not all cursed. Get on Google right now.
Speaker 6:I think I might go with the baked beans. Now I was wondering.
Speaker 1:There was a lot of bean discussion and a fart party. Uh, that you missed jl lindsey, so maybe you're probably happy you missed that, the fart or you want to be in the fart party all right, naela, what would you name your zombie friend and what would you talk about?
Speaker 1:um, well, speaking of special interests, I would call them mini leaks from the real housewives of atlanta, and then would because I'm lonely, I need something that I can yap about. So we would talk about Meanie's impact on the entire Real Housewives franchise. That would take years, so I feel like that's what I would do. What, specifically, are you hoping that she would get out of that conversation? What am I hoping she would?
Speaker 7:get out of it or even you.
Speaker 1:What would you? Yeah, what would be the takeaway after the many years of discussion? I mean, I guess, if we're going really deep, that like no, there's people that we like watch and people we engage with and like really great storytellers across like many different mediums, be it reality TV, be it books that like really stick with you, that you probably want to think about when you have the time or when you're like lonely. That's like a good point of connection. I wasn't expecting to get that deep, but, yeah, I think that's my answer Be silly, be serious, I love it.
Speaker 2:Are you and your zombie friend going to watch the Real Housewives together?
Speaker 1:I mean ideally, that's like I mean I always assumed. The reason why I would never try to survive as a zombie apocalypse is because, like, I would lose access to my favorite things, including, like reality TV, which is not like high on that list well, like, it's definitely like top 30. Yeah it's hard to find physical copies of Real Housewives yeah, it's not like there's like a box set of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. There's like a box set of the real housewives of Atlanta. There's like 16 seasons, yeah.
Speaker 2:Somebody has it, somebody has to have a box set of it.
Speaker 1:Someone needs to hire it and apparently, I think because of like the way streaming's going and like getting physical media back, I think potentially that is, that is something that's in the future for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Cause you always talk about how they want like access to like longer series is, but like real housewives has like way more than regular tv. So it's like if you need something to watch for like forever, then that's a good option. That is a great option. I also got to say, as a fellow reality tv lover, although I'm currently on 90 day fiance happily ever after binge. Um, it makes me really sad to think of a world where I can't watch those things. We need to preserve these cultural like arc uh, what's the word? I'm looking for artifacts, cultural artifacts in case of the apocalypse I'm imagining and it actually makes me a better storyteller by watching these people's mess.
Speaker 1:So I'm like I feel like my storytelling would be impacted if I didn't have access to women yelling at each other every week. So in the in the acknowledgments in your book, you're gonna, you're gonna give some love to uh, what's her name again, mimi, mimi. Well, mimi really is like the like blueprint for really anybody. I feel like it's just like all the good tropes and all the good archetypes are on that show, like it's just if I was running a creative writing class, that's what we would watch in class.
Speaker 2:We're tagging her on this episode for sure, I feel that I'm not like the huge the biggest, I was going to say hugest, because I'm a writer. I'm not the biggest reality TV fan, but I found that watching reality TV with Leah, watching reality tv, sheet tv with with leah, I I am getting a lot of inspiration from watching this drama play out amongst mostly real people supposedly I sometimes I question.
Speaker 1:I say mostly real I feel like salt lake city's, like iteration two is like, would be great for the zombie apocalypse writers in the room, like I feel like there's a lot there. Yeah, that's good to watch because of like the mormon background and like everything that's going on on that show. I feel like that's like that's like future viewing for any like zombie apocalypse watchers. Again, there's some good stuff in there, but I think I would have to pick a special topic that I could yap about for as long as possible, and that's going to be it every time. I think that's very wise. And now I know what I'm going to watch when I'm mourning the loss of Happily Ever After, because I'm getting close to the end of those seasons. Joe, who would your zombie bestie be? What would you name them? What would you talk about?
Speaker 8:I think I have to submit a protest vote for this one. I am not keeping this thing alive, I'm killing it immediately. This is a bad idea. This is a setup. This is how things go wrong in the zombie apocalypse. And not only that, but I feel like looking at a zombie all day. I'm going to feel sadder and lonelier. So I'm just going to end it.
Speaker 2:You wouldn't want somebody to talk to about how sad that zombie makes you feel.
Speaker 8:No, because I'm going to have okay if we're going to go with hyper fixation here. I would rather be alone with my Taylor Swift albums and just sing songs all day alone by myself, and I'm okay with that.
Speaker 2:What if you find a zombie that's also a Swifty?
Speaker 8:Are they going to sing on key? That's a problem for me, absolutely not, but they's a problem for them?
Speaker 2:Absolutely not, but they have like a Taylor Swift shirt. They have some great dance moves, even if it's not to any specific rhythm or makes any sense, but they get down.
Speaker 1:Could you bring?
Speaker 2:yourself to kill a.
Speaker 1:Swifty.
Speaker 8:Oh gosh, that actually is a really tough question, because I um I'm gonna honor a swifty every time they, they can stay outside, but they can't come in the shelter. They, they have to stay outside.
Speaker 1:You're like my dad with our dogs as a kid. Okay, I get it. Oh, that makes me sad. Lori, I saw you put your hand up. Did you want to comment on this?
Speaker 3:No, Well, I was just going to ask in your mind, is this zombie actually talking to you or, again, are they just being like cranberry in response to your singing? Because, again, if they're not actually like talking to you on a human level, then, yeah, I would kill it too.
Speaker 8:Yeah, in my mind, the zombie in question here is just completely brainless and not communicative, not sentient at all.
Speaker 1:All right, sylvester, you don't get to go and Lori you don't get to go. I'm looking at my list of people, so, last but never least, never ever least, he thought way too much about this Callahan. What is that me?
Speaker 7:or Sylvester no, you me. I don't think that we have to. In my zombie world, there is no such thing as anything that comes between anything and comes between anything and anything between, as it were. I'm just reading the things.
Speaker 3:Jack wasn't paying attention for the last 15 minutes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he wasn't. Jack, it's late for you and Naila. I think Naila has better lighting. I'm sure it's helping.
Speaker 7:Yeah, go to Naila, it'll help. No, naila, I think Naila has better lighting. I'm sure it's helping. Yeah, go to Naila.
Speaker 1:It'll help?
Speaker 7:No, Naila already went.
Speaker 6:You're the last one.
Speaker 7:Yeah, go to Naila, it'll help.
Speaker 1:Apparently, you're getting two answers. Naila, do you have another bonus round? My answer for Jack I don't know, he'd probably name it Lagoon.
Speaker 3:Ayla, do you?
Speaker 1:have another bonus round. My answer for Jack yeah, I don't know. He'd probably name it Legume and they would have great conversations about beans. I don't know, that's perfect, I guess, if I had a second person to name. I don't know, maybe some sort of Caribbean mythological creature or something. Maybe Papa Boyce, who's supposed to be the boss of the forest, asked them some questions, I don't know. Connect with an ancestor?
Speaker 6:Yeah, that's a deep.
Speaker 1:Wait, Sylvester, what'd you say?
Speaker 6:Oh no, I just laughed, I enjoyed that you know.
Speaker 2:that's a great answer for Jack. Great job.
Speaker 1:Everybody give Jack love. Yay, sylvester and I were both like beans.
Speaker 3:We're like go around.
Speaker 7:Well, no, it doesn't make sense. It says you're alone and sad in the zombie apocalypse. In your shelter is a fully contained and restricted zombie that you decide to keep as your friend. What the fuck does that mean?
Speaker 3:It means you're by yourself and you have a zombie friend yeah, nobody else.
Speaker 1:Have you seen Cast Away have? You seen Shaun of the Dead Of course.
Speaker 6:I've seen Shaun of the Dead. Yeah, that's his friend. He keeps his friend in the shed.
Speaker 7:Where is the noun in that? Go on carry on, oh no, oh, no, oh, go on, carry on. I'm not even listening.
Speaker 1:It's only 30 minutes left, so it is okay. You can be here for the good times and the beans, the legumes, as Naila very beautifully said. I do love a legume. They're so good for you.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I like to tell people that things are legumes when they are definitely not.
Speaker 1:Like what.
Speaker 2:Like a grapefruit.
Speaker 1:Okay, we're going to stay on track because I feel like this could get really off. What is going on? I think we're all getting loopy because this is a marathon.
Speaker 2:People believe me every time that's really sad.
Speaker 1:They're like I didn't know grapefruits were legumes. Did you know a tomato is a fruit?
Speaker 2:Actually it's a legume. I just learned that pumpkins are a berry, but raspberries and blackberries and strawberries are not.
Speaker 5:Also, bananas are berries. What and?
Speaker 1:strawberries are not. Also, bananas are berries. What?
Speaker 3:That is true.
Speaker 2:Alright, we're moving on to the wildcard round. This was the wildcard round.
Speaker 1:I mean the judgment, the judgment day.
Speaker 3:The judge.
Speaker 2:Sylvester, this wildcard round.
Speaker 1:Sylvester, I'm sorry, I feel like we keep talking over what did you say?
Speaker 6:Oh no, I just laughed.
Speaker 1:Every time I ask you what you said, if you just say I just laughed, it's going to get better and better. Yeah, dan, it's up to Dan ultimately to make this decision. Yes, but Lori, sylvester, you have potentially a lot of influence here. So, sylvester, you have potentially a lot of influence here. So, sylvester, what are your thoughts? Who do you think should be in the finale with you?
Speaker 6:Honestly, I'm born between Real Housewives and just murdering the zombie, because this is a setup. It's a setup. I think I'll let everybody else decide and then I'll go with the majority. Okay, that's very brave of you.
Speaker 3:My vote is Nyla, because she gave two answers and the legume shit for Jack's answer was just funny. So my vote is for Nyla All right?
Speaker 2:Well, you know, I've consulted, consulted with these judges. You may have heard it, it happened right now but ultimately it's my choice and I choose and I can choose to ignore everyone's advice and I'm gonna go with nyla because I think that was a genuinely good answer. It made me want to watch the Real Housewives and I have never said that we do need a box set.
Speaker 6:We need the box set get on Amazon right now.
Speaker 2:Find the box set of Real Housewives all the seasons.
Speaker 1:I'll do that and add the extra lagoons to my cart. Yeah, that was yeah, that was the fart party cart. That was yeah, that was from the fart party.
Speaker 3:I don't know, I think the fart party happened and everybody's brain derailed. The train is off the track, everybody the train is off.
Speaker 1:I'm going to steer us back. Got a little bit of time left. It is the finale. We're going to do it best out of three questions with a extra special finale question, and I just want to take a moment to say thank you to Jack, to Joe, to JL and Lindsay and to Dan. Am I missing somebody here, me?
Speaker 2:You're thanking me, are you?
Speaker 3:kicking Dan off the show. Yes, go away.
Speaker 1:Oh no, you all are the judges. So this is what I'm about to say to you, those of you who are not in the finale you are going to be responsible, by a healthy debate, and then vote for who will be the 2024 zombie wiener, the biggest wiener of them all. Are you ready for that very serious responsibility, folks, ready, wait?
Speaker 2:I get to vote too.
Speaker 1:No, no, wait for that very serious responsibility folks ready?
Speaker 5:wait, I get a vote too. No, no wait, do lindsey and I get one vote or two I'm gonna say one oh you can have two if you vote for me wait, this is uh
Speaker 1:this is sylvester laughing there's no fraud at the polls here. All right, we don't do that zombie ween Show, even though everything else is completely unfair and arbitrary. It is time for the Zombie Ween Game Show showdown between reigning zombie queen from 2023,. Lori Calcaterra has a chance to continue to hold that crown, but it could also be coming in hot Sylvester Barzy middle name redacted, possibly going to snatch it. And last but not least, we have Naila King, winner of the wildcard round, here for the finale. There will be three questions. We are going to listen to them, answer their questions and then have a final deliberation and a vote based on the holistic results of their answers. Everybody good to go? Yep, beautiful. Okay, I'm ready. Your bouncy castle zombie bunker is destroyed. Which do you choose for your new shelter? A horror maze or a perpetually moving Ferris wheel? You've got 30 seconds to think about this and you have to justify your answer. It's all you, sylvester.
Speaker 6:What do you choose? So I feel like I would probably be dead if my bouncy house got destroyed. But just assuming I'm not, I'm going to go with the Ferris wheel. I feel like that would be a nice little thing that I can secure, and I'll just watch the city and watch the zombies. Maybe I'll poke a few every time I'm down. But yet a horror maze. Uh, that's, that's a trap. Someone's gonna pop out. We're gonna die.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna go with the fears now um, it is, it is perpetually moving, so it's, it's still still rotating. Yeah, so you can rest for a couple minutes at a time, but then it comes down to the bottom. Do you have a plan for when you get to the bottom?
Speaker 6:I feel like, if, oh, so is it like an open door? Yeah, or do I get to close the door?
Speaker 2:Oh, it's an open door. It's like the bench that you sit on, with the bar in front of you.
Speaker 6:Oh no, I thought we were talking about the one in Atlanta. We should have described it yes, the one in Atlanta is like a closed-in box.
Speaker 2:Okay, let's say it's the closed-in one.
Speaker 6:Yeah, that's fair, that was even where you're imagining it, but it's a convertible.
Speaker 2:It has the umbrella on top, but it's still open air. But the bottom part is enclosed so it does have a little door. We're still faster. This is hard. It does have like a little door we're still faster.
Speaker 6:This is hard, you know. I guess if I had a machete or a nice weapon I could handle this, or I could use the debris from my bouncy house and try and seal off this opening.
Speaker 2:I'm still going with the Ferris wheel. The bouncy house landed on the Ferris wheel.
Speaker 1:I kind of love that. Okay Sounds about right. That's why you're still alive.
Speaker 2:You can crash the Ferris wheel. The bouncy house landed on the ferris wheel. I kind of love that. Okay sounds about right. That's why you're still alive. You can crash the ferris wheel laurie, which do you choose?
Speaker 1:horror maze oh or ferris wheel.
Speaker 3:I'm in the horror maze 100. I'm trip wiring that thing, I'm booby trapping that thing, I'm putting fake walls so I can go in between and of course I know, uh, you know, people are coming in. It's setting off the the horror maze. You know, I was like a thing at the entrance so it's motion censored, right, right. So I'm in there for sure, and, if need be, I have a ladder I'm climbing out yeah, what if?
Speaker 2:but what if you get duped by your own maze? Like you get into the mirror section oh, there's a mirror section. I Like you get into the mirror section oh, there's a mirror section. I mean, they gotta have the mirror section, the part that you go through. That's like all punching bags that you run through. I love it.
Speaker 3:Well one you'd want to memorize the maze Right, that's true. Two you'd want to make sure that you know the way through and that way you have other like you want to pull down things behind you, so you would distract whoever's chasing you. If it's people or zombies, it's a distraction, so they don't have it memorized you do. Also, I want to tie in last year's show. We can use the call and answer in the maze, so if you're coming in and you're singing Little Mermaid songs, I know you're a part of my crew. Okay, can you?
Speaker 1:give us a little, uh, since I have no ability to sing.
Speaker 7:There we go.
Speaker 1:I didn't know you were a singer oh, yeah, well, okay, last but not least, naila what would you choose?
Speaker 1:So I would also use. I would also choose the whore maze, not for reasoned logic reasons, more like for toddler reasons. I feel like being on a constant moving Ferris wheel just sounds like nausea waiting to happen. But in perpetuity I don't like that Horror maze. There's definitely protective things that you could do, but I also feel like that death would be more fun for me than being on a perpetual Ferris wheel puking for eternity. So that's my reason. Um, I think a horror maze would be just like more fun for the person doing my eulogy and you know, I just think it would be. It would just be better for everybody involved.
Speaker 1:I don't want to be on like a turning thing it just sounds like I'm signing up to be cold rotisserie chicken, like there's just something about that.
Speaker 2:I don't like that. You make a lot of really good points.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for the toddler reasons, I feel like people could see you, yeah, but I would say you always like start in Ayala. You're like, oh, this is going to make no sense, and then you make excellent sense. You're one of those people who pretends you don't know how to play poker and then sweeps the room. I feel like this is what's happening. Okay, you're not judging, sorry y'all, that's happening later. What is the first song on your zombie fighting playlist? Optional? Sing some of the lyrics or hum the tune for maximum effect. You have 30 seconds to think about this.
Speaker 7:How did you not get?
Speaker 1:me to do this one. Jack, if you're free to stay after, you can do your version. We'll have a little bonus round. Oh, dear Naila, you're first. I don't know. I feel like I'm torn between a silly option, like a silly fun option, and a practical option. So naturally I'm going to pick the silly option. I kind of feel like the Goosebumps theme would be great Copyright infringing, but great and uh, can you hum a little bit for us or sing it? I mean, it's is, is it? I don't think there are lyrics, but it's like the do, do, do, do, do, oh, right see, I don't remember.
Speaker 2:That's why I need a little bit of a reframe all I could think of was the inspector gadget theme song inspector Inspector.
Speaker 1:Gadget adjacent there's a copyright claim there. I'm not a musician, but you know Everybody who knows the Goosebump theme. Can you just do a real quick, come off mute and let me know how it sounds. Anybody else know?
Speaker 5:That's Inspector Gadgets beautiful answer.
Speaker 1:I clearly need to go back and watch Goosebumps for some nostalgia reasons.
Speaker 3:Lori, I'm going to go full on NSYNC. Bye, bye, bye. I thought this is the one question where I thought a lot about it and I was like do I do everybody's kung fu fighting? Do I do everybody's Kung Fu fighting? Do I do? I almost did? George Michael, I will be your father figure. That's a good one, cause I'm I'm your daddy, right, if we're fighting the zombie apocalypse, I'm your daddy now. But we're going to do I'm doing this tonight. I'll be going to start a fight in this tonight. I'll be gonna start a fight. Yeah, I know this can't be right here. Baby, come on, sing with me, I can totally see it.
Speaker 1:I only know the chorus bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
Speaker 2:Somebody else sing it better than me is there a choreography that goes along with your zombie fighting?
Speaker 3:yeah, I mean like if you've all seen the last Deadpool, we know that you can fight to this song too. Right, I haven't Right Like. I've loved you endlessly when you weren't there for me, so I know it's time to leave and make it alone. Like it actually works pretty good.
Speaker 2:It is kind of an apocalypse song yeah.
Speaker 1:Also talking NSYNC in this.
Speaker 2:Or whoever wrote that song. Does NSYNC have social?
Speaker 1:media. It's a good question. Somebody find that out while we're doing this.
Speaker 3:I know that I can't take no more. It ain't no lie. I could keep going. Please don't.
Speaker 1:We'll get sued.
Speaker 5:Please stop, lloyd. Can judges answer for no points? Just like an honorary answer.
Speaker 1:Bonus round you, JL Lindsay Jack, if you want to stay after we have the official awardee. Absolutely, sylvester, it's great uh.
Speaker 6:So I feel like I just want to have fun with it, and the number one song that's kind of like all on all my horror list is terror time from uh. Was it um scooby-doo? Was it Scooby Doo on Zombie Island?
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I know that song.
Speaker 6:Terror time again.
Speaker 2:That was an incredible song.
Speaker 6:Yes, my diet, yeah, I love that song.
Speaker 1:No, keep going, keep going. Sylvester, I'm grooving.
Speaker 6:Oh, okay, so it's terror time again? There's no, I really don't know the words.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it has, like it has vibes, for sure it's good.
Speaker 6:Yeah, yeah, it has, like it has vibes for sure. It's good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like I can kill zombies to it and reminisce on my childhood. Oh, that's always nice. Also, I imagine myself eating a comically sized po-boy sandwich to that song oh yes, they always made food look so good.
Speaker 1:Well, folks, we are on to the final showdown question. Also, we're going to be making a Spotify playlist from this, so whoever wants to stay after we decide who the wiener is, what a playlist we will. Anyone else who wants to give their song can. But for right now, let me reshare my screen. It was really hard for me not to sing along with the bye, bye, bye, but I know that my voice would just make everyone run away. Okay, here is your final question. Sylvester Nayila and Lori, it's the final zombie showdown. Most of your characters have died or become zombies, so death is not broken here. Lori, sorry, in this world and the last few survivors, your fellow eliminated contestants, jack, joe, jl and Lindsay, are all that stand between the horde and your total destruction. Your community is on the brink. Give us your best impromptu, motivational speech to rally them for one final stand against the incoming zombies. You have 30 seconds.
Speaker 2:Think about it 30 seconds to write a speech.
Speaker 1:I'm going to count because I don't have the timer in my head.
Speaker 2:I love that it looks like we have people writing in the actual speech 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2.
Speaker 1:Laurie, you're up, inspire us uh, laurie, you're on mute okay, I'm ready.
Speaker 3:Sons of Gondor, wait, I can do this better. Sons of zombie land, hold your ground. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails. Fails, we will forsake our friends and break our bonds of fellowship. But today, today is not that day, an hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down. But it is not that day. This day, we fight by all that you hold dear on this good earth. I bid you stand, men and women of Zombieland.
Speaker 1:We have cheering. Jack is clearly here for it.
Speaker 7:And come on, there's more. There's like three lines.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm not. Do you want me to? Oh, is there more? The day does not belong to one man, but to all. I was like do you want me to keep going? Let us share together, rebuild this world that we may share in the days of peace go, go, go go.
Speaker 7:That's where it's at that was beautiful.
Speaker 2:We got like 10 minutes left, guys, alright and then also do the part where the eagles come and save the hobbits wait, and there we go off.
Speaker 1:We go order in the wrestling ring. Order in the wrestling ring Naila give us Laurie.
Speaker 7:I want to marry you.
Speaker 1:I don't think I would give there wouldn't be any relational speech. I think I would give there wouldn't be any motivational speech. I think I would say that like there is, like there's only like and, and they would continue on in another plane. They would see their ancestors Like I would be very teen like death you know death is just an extension of what we're doing Like that's just another realm. But I would never like yeah, I don't think I would do like a big motivational, like being a live speech, at least in my world in the way, like that, my characters, so it's just, it's okay to die, everybody dies yeah, everybody dies yeah like, I've really enjoyed I mean the sort of version would be.
Speaker 1:It would would be like that sometimes, right.
Speaker 2:Really enjoyed this about all of your answers, Naila is that a lot of people look at the zombie apocalypse and are like, how would I survive? And you're kind of like, let's just die, Become ancestors.
Speaker 6:Do you really have to?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think your new nickname Naila for your wrestler name is Nail is naela nihilist king.
Speaker 3:That's what I'm coining.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, what are we? What are we doing all this for sylvester? You gotta round us out.
Speaker 6:What's your motivational speech okay, I say acts, not what the group can do for you, but what you can do for the group. Your friends and family are walking among the dead. They were good and honorable people.
Speaker 2:So let's go shoot them in the head. Love, that rhymed. Thank you, Wow you really had me feeling things there for a second, I'll go shoot your family.
Speaker 1:This is the moment, folks. I don't know how you're going to choose. This is why it's out of mine and Dan's hands, unless there is a tie. There are two parts to this. We're going to take just a couple minutes if folks want to discuss the pros and cons of each person's speech, and who would rally us the most to keep fighting. Jack, where are you at with this? What are the pros and cons?
Speaker 7:Oh, I don't know the pros of what I'd like to say. Stand up, everybody. There's no need for a hero or anything like that. There's no need for anybody who wants to make you think that you are better than anybody else. This is your speech, jack. Am I speaking?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 7:I'm looking at the one thing.
Speaker 1:I want your opinion on Naila Sylvester's and Laurie's speeches. It was a good speech. It was.
Speaker 7:I'm on board or on Laurie's speeches? Oh, I don't know. Look at Laurie's speeches. Look at the way that she speaks, look at the way that she has this incredible way that she speaks and brings herself in front of us. Look how incredibly beautiful she is.
Speaker 6:Look at her and she is telling us the things that we need to know, the things that we need to bring to our hearts.
Speaker 1:I just feel like he proposed marriage, so I'm just saying that.
Speaker 7:Okay, she is standing there. She is standing there in her white clothes. Oh, how incredible.
Speaker 5:Legume is groaning in jealousy. Poor Legume is feeling so discarded.
Speaker 8:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Legume.
Speaker 8:JL and Lindsay.
Speaker 1:Jack, I know you could write a full soliloquy for Laurie right now, but we're going to give it over to JL and Lindsay to let us know what they think. We're not making votes, yet just pros and cons.
Speaker 5:So literally right before anyone answered, lindsay said the Gondor speech obviously it's like the Gondor speech. She is the lady of Numenor Jack, you are besmitten I do think, and we both agree, that Sylvester's speech was from the heart and truly motivating and threw in a bit of levity, which is always good for that post-battle tension, you know.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I think in the actual situation, Sylvester's speech would probably get me going. The most.
Speaker 1:So you're not okay with just saying it's okay to die.
Speaker 6:There's a fear of death here.
Speaker 4:That might depend on the situation.
Speaker 5:honestly, you know, I thought about it and. I had a whole speech worked out within seconds and it actually included that.
Speaker 4:So I mean. We're in accord though. Yeah we're still going with Sylvester.
Speaker 2:Naila's speech definitely opened my mind to other possibilities, definitely.
Speaker 1:Joe, tell us what you're thinking.
Speaker 8:Oh, I'm debating this one hard because I think that all three had really great qualities. I think Naila's, again, like Dan said, really took me to another option that I hadn't considered. I think Lori's delivery was really there. The content of Sylvester's speech again, I think it was pretty solid. So I'm really wavering between, like, delivery and content right here.
Speaker 1:Okay, this is gonna be really tough, but I just realized there's three votes here. We got Jack, jl, and Lindsay has a single vote. I'm so sorry y'all. You come in as a power couple and Joe I. What I'd like you to do is take a moment to deliberate, and I'd like you to write in the chat. Don't hit enter Jack, do not hit enter, hit enter. Just write the name, even though I know who you're gonna say okay, write the name in the chat and when you've written the name in the chat, give me a thumbs up. So I know. Okay, we've got a thumbs up from joe, thumbs up from jl and lindsey.
Speaker 1:Jack is your name in the chat. No, okay, we already know who you're. Okay, well, we're gonna, for the rest of you, reveal. You want to hit enter JL and Joe. You got Sylvester, sylvester. Oh, I'm so sorry, lori. I know, jack, you would have gone for Lori If you'd like to. How about, jack? I'm going to make the request that you give a little extra love to Lori as our outgoing 2023 Zombieween Queen. She is handing over the crown to Sylvester.
Speaker 6:I want a crown. I thought we had another round.
Speaker 7:No, it's good. It's good for the. Why don't we get?
Speaker 6:something awesome.
Speaker 7:I know we're all getting a shirt, so who cares?
Speaker 1:I didn't even have to write my name in the chat. Perfect, I feel like you shared your victory speech, but do you have any final words for us? Sylvester, as the 2024 zombie ween. Sylvester, as the 2024 zombie ween, biggest weiner king of them all, you have the crown. What would you like to say?
Speaker 6:I'm going to bedazzle it and it's going to look beautiful. I'm going to have the best time. Cannot wait to see it. But I would like to say, as the new zombie king, that I did this all by myself. Thank you.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, you have one more choice, my friend to pick your prize. Which rundown house prize would you like to choose?
Speaker 6:I'm going to go with two, because I got bad knees so I don't need stairs, so I'll go with that one.
Speaker 1:Okay, I forget what two is One second.
Speaker 2:I know what it's not.
Speaker 1:You have won oh no, a halloween decoration. This is exactly what it's called on. Amazon halloween decoration. Hanging head props. Scary hanging severed head. Life-size bloody latex zombie head for halloween party. Indoor, outdoor, bar, haunted house decor. Halloween decor props. Brackets B Congratulations.
Speaker 2:That's the name of it, if you want to look it up.
Speaker 1:How does it feel? Are you excited to have your very own zombie head?
Speaker 6:Oh yeah, the kids are going to love this.
Speaker 2:Also, how glad are you that you did not pick number one.
Speaker 6:I've seen that movie but I haven't watched it, but I've seen it.
Speaker 1:What's the movie Sylvester?
Speaker 6:tell us what it's called zombie ass toilet of the dead no thank you.
Speaker 1:And then the other option was last year Lori got Goosh the zombie baby, blow up zombie baby, and this would have been a, a conjoined, twin conjoined twin.
Speaker 3:How big is that thing?
Speaker 2:4 feet, just like Goosh.
Speaker 3:Okay, so it's not as big as it makes it look. Okay, that's fine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the picture looks like it's as big as a house.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was like, that thing is like 200 bucks.
Speaker 1:Oh, can everyone come off mute and join me in making groaning and whatever noise you'd like that you think a zombie could make to celebrate Sylvester the zombie king.
Speaker 3:Bradbury.
Speaker 5:DJ Khaled.
Speaker 6:This was the best apocalypse ever.
Speaker 1:Truly, we are honored to have you King. We now have a king and a queen of zombie ween. This is wonderful, but everybody is a weiner. There is a T-shirt waiting for you. If you're not a fan of a T-shirt, we're going to talk to you about options, because we want to give you some special love for spending three hours. Folks, uh, doing this recording with us staying alert, staying safe. Sometimes I feel like that's a psa I listen to is a stay alert, stay safe.
Speaker 8:I don't know what that was from but something but I just want to get savvy for a minute and say thank you.
Speaker 1:Everybody like um, oh no, I'm gonna get emotional, dan, and I've been doing this podcast for like a year and a half, something like that.
Speaker 2:Almost two, almost two years.
Speaker 1:Every single one of you is here because we have felt so very, very lucky to meet you and Naila. It's like my first time actually getting to interact with you not on a real, you know, not a real story back and forth and I just really adore all of you. That's all. I'm not going to get too mushy.
Speaker 1:I just think it's really cool, and the fact that you were willing to spend three hours with us three hours plus now to do this means a lot, and I had a lot of fun and this is like my favorite thing in the world, so thank you. So I'd just like to give everybody a round of applause. Cue applause, sound effects, yeah, applause, it was this one.
Speaker 1:I did it. I know we are right at time, but if anyone would like to share a brief reflection on their time on the zombie weaned game show, now is your moment.
Speaker 5:We were too brief. That's my reflection. This was fun I had fun.
Speaker 3:I want to read all of your stories. Send me links.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all of the information for folks will be in the show notes. Go ahead, Sylvester.
Speaker 6:As a group, we would survive together. I feel like we all had pretty good ideas.
Speaker 2:Unless we don't want to.
Speaker 6:Yeah, that's true, we could give up. It's good, that's very sweet Sometimes. Depending on how it is?
Speaker 1:you just gotta let it go naela, I feel like you'd probably be okay with this decision, considering your your speech. I'm just proud to represent the people who are not trying to survive. You know, we're people too, people who are like peace.
Speaker 5:I'm really happy that I could give them a voice I love this it's, don't worry, we'll keep you as a pet in our shelter and feed your brain. Brain aspect I will I? I'll talk to you about grunts and groans and foods, while feeding you brains in gelatin with a little spoon.
Speaker 8:This is why we love the zombie community.
Speaker 3:The consistency would be the same, isn't it like gelatinous brain anyway? Yeah, but the gelatin helps keep the brain from breaking down for longer, so that I can portion it out that's what I, in my world, that brain would still be thinking inside of the jello so you'd be feeding it's a courtesy to the brain as well.
Speaker 5:The gelatin helps the brain stay in shape so it can think more efficiently so okay.
Speaker 3:So now we've just gone down a totally different thing, that you and I need to do about how we keep brains in gelatin so that they can think for us in the future.
Speaker 1:Yes, this is a whole other episode and we are past time, so I just want to say thank you everybody, so very, very much for being here and please go to the show notes. You can find everything you need to know about Jack Callahan, the zombie nerd, and the half term harrowing, his awesome YA novel. You can find Joe Salazar's the Dead Wait. I just finished it. It's impeccable information for there. Naila King, go follow their Instagram. They are going to be coming out with some very they are going to be coming out.
Speaker 1:They're going to be coming out with some really interesting women with a grudge which, honestly, I mean, what woman doesn't have a grudge? I feel like with some horror and some ghosts in there. I'm waiting for it. Naila, go check out Mr Guy Zombie Hunter and Tracy Queen from JL and Lindsay's Oneshi Press, path of the Pale Rider from the epic, lori Calcaterra, and we can never forget the zombie ween king of 2024 planet dead by sylvester barzy. All the information will be in the show notes for you, thank you everybody so much cool.
Speaker 3:Brandon starachi, you're next.
Speaker 1:It's staraki, I just feel I always say it wrong and he never corrects me.
Speaker 3:I'm going to say it 17,000 wrong ways until he actually corrects me. I'm coming for you next, sir.
Speaker 2:This is why he was so happy that we got his name right.
