Zombie Book Club

CONPLAN 8888 The Military's Bizarre Zombie Apocalypse Battle Plan | Zombie Book Club Episode 30

February 04, 2024 Zombie Book Club Season 2 Episode 30
CONPLAN 8888 The Military's Bizarre Zombie Apocalypse Battle Plan | Zombie Book Club Episode 30
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Zombie Book Club
CONPLAN 8888 The Military's Bizarre Zombie Apocalypse Battle Plan | Zombie Book Club Episode 30
Feb 04, 2024 Season 2 Episode 30
Zombie Book Club

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Get ready to march into the macabre with our discussion on CONPLAN 8888 – the Army's zombie apocalypse battle plan that's more than just a punchline. Dan and Leah, your battle-hardened hosts, sift through the pages of the U.S. Army's most bizarre contingency with wit and wisdom, SO MUCH WISDOM. We're not just talking about the walking dead; we're analyzing the military's strategic humor, contemplating its role in training, and decoding the different zombie types the Department of Defense humorously prepped for.

This week's episode isn't just a romp through the undead; it's also a tactical masterclass. Marvel as we HATCH a plan to combat evil magic chicken zombies (EMCZs) – sounds like a movie plot that might just RUFFLE FEATHERS in Hollywood. But there's method to the madness as we discuss genuine military strategy laced with a healthy dose of absurdity. We're not only considering chicken wire barricades but also the importance of civilian-military cooperation in facing FOWL foes. Expect real talk about martial law, special operations, and the logistics of equipping an army to face... chickens. It's strategy and satire, and you're in the war room.



Follow our linktree for social media links, and links to all the places you can find our podcast!
https://linktr.ee/zombiebookclub

Zombie Book Club Voicemail
(614) 699-0006‬

Zombie Book Club Email
ZombieBookClubPodcast@gmail.com

Follow our linktree for social media links, and links to all the places you can find our podcast!
https://linktr.ee/zombiebookclub

ZBC Discord Server
https://discord.com/invite/8hCSb4eg

Zombie Book Club Voicemail
(614) 699-0006‬

Zombie Book Club Email
ZombieBookClubPodcast@gmail.com

Our Secret Website That Isn't Finished
https://zombiebookclub.io

Our Merchandise Store (Where you can find our Evil Magic Chicken Zombie Shirts)
https://zombie-book-club.myspreadshop.com

Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Send us a Text Message.

Get ready to march into the macabre with our discussion on CONPLAN 8888 – the Army's zombie apocalypse battle plan that's more than just a punchline. Dan and Leah, your battle-hardened hosts, sift through the pages of the U.S. Army's most bizarre contingency with wit and wisdom, SO MUCH WISDOM. We're not just talking about the walking dead; we're analyzing the military's strategic humor, contemplating its role in training, and decoding the different zombie types the Department of Defense humorously prepped for.

This week's episode isn't just a romp through the undead; it's also a tactical masterclass. Marvel as we HATCH a plan to combat evil magic chicken zombies (EMCZs) – sounds like a movie plot that might just RUFFLE FEATHERS in Hollywood. But there's method to the madness as we discuss genuine military strategy laced with a healthy dose of absurdity. We're not only considering chicken wire barricades but also the importance of civilian-military cooperation in facing FOWL foes. Expect real talk about martial law, special operations, and the logistics of equipping an army to face... chickens. It's strategy and satire, and you're in the war room.



Follow our linktree for social media links, and links to all the places you can find our podcast!
https://linktr.ee/zombiebookclub

Zombie Book Club Voicemail
(614) 699-0006‬

Zombie Book Club Email
ZombieBookClubPodcast@gmail.com

Follow our linktree for social media links, and links to all the places you can find our podcast!
https://linktr.ee/zombiebookclub

ZBC Discord Server
https://discord.com/invite/8hCSb4eg

Zombie Book Club Voicemail
(614) 699-0006‬

Zombie Book Club Email
ZombieBookClubPodcast@gmail.com

Our Secret Website That Isn't Finished
https://zombiebookclub.io

Our Merchandise Store (Where you can find our Evil Magic Chicken Zombie Shirts)
https://zombie-book-club.myspreadshop.com

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Zombie Book Club, the only book club where the book is a document written by the US Department of Defense Strategic Command and that document helps you write a different document, and that document is reviewed as a measure of your leadership abilities. So no pressure, I'm Dan, and when I'm not making detailed battle plans that no one will read in the event of a zombie outbreak, I'm writing a book about the total obliteration of New York City, besieged by hordes of zombies created by the willful negligence of our own government.

Speaker 2:

Sounds familiar with other pandemics. I don't know what you're talking about. And I'm Leah, and I have no idea what I'm for today, but I have a feeling my leadership capabilities might be tested and, as someone who used to call themselves a pacifist who married a veteran, this is going to be interesting.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, ruined for a fun ride.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, because today we're talking about some words that I don't know what they mean yet Conplan 8888, which I keep calling Conplan 8888, and Dan keep reminding me that. Dan keep reminding me. Wow, dan keep reminding me. English is my first language, If it wasn't this would be forgivable. Yeah, dan keeps reminding me that it's got four eights the US Army's very real document outlining steps to fight a war against the undead.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, also we release episodes every Sunday. Now, yeah, give us a sub. Yeah, give us a subscribe. Rate it, review it, tell your friends, spread it like a virus.

Speaker 2:

My darling dearest. You've been even mentioning Conplan 8888 to me for a very long time, Since episode one.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, what is it? I've been promising that we would talk about this thing that nobody knows anything about. You're on episode 30.

Speaker 2:

Oh my God, we're a full adult.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, our podcast's brain has grown to maximum efficiency.

Speaker 2:

And is now starting to calcify into adult brains.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and it's realizing that all of the decisions it made during episodes 20 through 30 were really bad, except for zombie mean, and it thinks that in the next 10 episodes it should have planned better for its future. So I love Conplan 8888 from the very second of that. I learned about it. I'm like this is so very, very, very military in a nutshell, but also so absurd. So, yeah, I was a veteran, you were. Yeah, you know I was, but I used to be, but I still am too. I got it. Okay, yeah, I'm a veteran. I used to be in the army during during the 2003 invasion of Iraq. I was. I went to Afghanistan as a civilian. I did all kinds of fun stuff that you could imagine. I've got the the dark, the dark humor to prove it.

Speaker 2:

He keeps it to himself. Now, though, he said to me you say, go to your like I don't tell you all of my terrible death humor anymore.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, do you want to hear some jokes about rickety ladders and short, short pieces of rope? Yes, all right. So am I going to laugh? Probably not. I actually don't have a joke about that, but I don't. I used to joke that people would ask me, like what my plans for the future are, and I said I was going to open a six foot of rope store right next to a rickety ladder store.

Speaker 2:

Oh my God, as somebody who literally worked in veteran suicide prevention no these storms would not align with veteran suicide prevention.

Speaker 1:

You would not want me to open these stores. That would go against everything that you are working for.

Speaker 2:

Y'all can't see my face, but basically imagine my face horrified mouth, a gait Well, looking at Dan with daggers in my eyes.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, this horrible suggestion, you know veterans have dark humor, and that's to deal with a lot of complex anxieties and emotions about our own mortality. You know, it's kind of a celebration of the fact that we're still here, in a way.

Speaker 2:

Interesting.

Speaker 1:

So when I talk about my rickety ladder collection, we actually have some. Oh no, no, that is because I have yet to use a rickety ladder or a rope necktie.

Speaker 2:

But what if you're making that joke? Give somebody like thoughts.

Speaker 1:

You know what? You know what I think dark humor does with veterans is it reminds other veterans that there are people who also have experienced the same things that they have. I think that's what veterans get from. Dark humor is like yeah, that is a terrible joke and also something that I feel deep inside.

Speaker 2:

Got it Some camaraderie there, some mutual understanding yeah.

Speaker 1:

So let's get back on track. Conplan 8888 was also known as counter zombie dominance Dominate those zombies. Dom the Zoms, that would be rule 34.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Look for. Look for our rule 34 color coloring book. Adult coloring book coming soon called, called Zom Dom. Dom the Zoms I'm going to choke.

Speaker 2:

Oh my God.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, this is a US Department of Defense strategic command, strat com. For those who know plan developed as a training exercise. This unclassified document was developed in 2011. I never got the chance to deal with this. Also, I wasn't an officer, so this probably would have never crossed like that, 10 years from when you joined. Yeah yeah, this was developed to train military planners in the basics of writing a campaign plan. The plan uses a fictional zombie scenario to provide a fun and engaging way to learn about the planning process.

Speaker 2:

I'm really surprised that the army allowed for something this ridiculous. I love it yeah.

Speaker 1:

Well, you know, because it's so ridiculous. It also can't be confused for a real battle plan. Ah, so if you were going to practice making battle plans and it's like, okay, this is our battle plan, fictional battle plan for invading Iran, Somebody, if it's, especially if it's unclassified and somebody got wind of it, they're like this is our plans to invade Iran and that would whether it's fictional or not, would be, would be a breach of a security for all of our military planning, got it? So this document outline strategies deal with various types of zombies, including pathogenic zombies, radiation zombies, evil magic zombies and now with the evil magic space zombies and even vegetarian zombies.

Speaker 2:

So please, arc is in this yeah, space zombies, space zombies, okay.

Speaker 1:

In a tongue-in-cheek manner. The idea behind using such a fantastical scenario was to ensure that the plan could not be mistaken for a real plan. Like I mentioned, while still providing a legitimate training tool, it focuses on maintaining a defensive posture to protect humanity from zombies, should such a scenario ever occur. So these plans that they make in training could actually be applied to a zombie survival scenario, if they happen.

Speaker 2:

If they happen. I really wish that you had left out this is a training thing until the very end, so I could have had like the suspended mode of disbelief of like holy fucking shit, the army is prepared. Well, it is Any specific types of zombies, which is a real interesting set of choices.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we'll talk about that in a bit. Complan8888 became popular when it was revealed to the public. It was leaked by the government because it was unclassified, so it was never actually hidden, highlighting the creative and sometimes humorous approaches the military sometimes takes in training exercises. I do remember seeing a coloring book for training a 10 Warthog pilots on how to how to appropriately attack tanks. It was a coloring book and you had the color of the areas that were that should, that are your targets, and it's in it explained very comically what areas you should color and if you colored them wrong you should color yourself a certain color. It was pretty funny. You could probably find that on the Internet. In this document they establish a categorization system for various zombie threats and this is a system I think we should co-opt for ourselves. Interesting Okay.

Speaker 2:

Because I mean like for a podcast or for our life, Both Okay.

Speaker 1:

In a way, I have been following this, but I haven't committed all of it to memory, so I'll say things like if we're talking about a certain type of zombie movie, I'll be like, well, that's a radiation zombie, these are viral zombies.

Speaker 2:

This is an update to our types of zombie episode.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Okay, in fact, the types of zombies episode I'm not so proud of, and I feel like if we did this first, we would have had a better type of zombie episode.

Speaker 2:

We can always do a revised one.

Speaker 1:

We'll update.

Speaker 2:

Zombie babies are longer baby, they're an adult. They have regrets. They have a renewed perspective based on the lived experience.

Speaker 1:

So let's go through some of these. I've got some examples of each one as well. First one on the list pathogenic zombies. These are zombie life forms created after an organism is infected by a virus or bacteria or some other form of contagion. So we talked, I think, in the last episode about mad cow disease for a little bit misfolded prion a protein strand that's misfolded and refolded incorrectly as a. That comes as a result of cannibalism Cows were fed cows and their protein strands got fucked up.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but then it gets like this prion is, it gets like in the soil or whatever. So you don't even have to be a cannibal. You could potentially get it if you're a cervid, if you're a zombie, yeah.

Speaker 1:

This is. I think that's specific to zombie. I don't know if if mad cow disease also infected the soil. That's something worth looking into. You should look into that. Yeah, the rabies virus. I always thought the rabies virus was a prion because of how similar it is to mad cow disease, but it's actually just a virus. It's able to penetrate the brain blood barrier and infects the tissue of the brain.

Speaker 2:

We had a rabid Fisher cat here this summer. Yeah, we. Yeah, it was definitely a Fisher cat. It was definitely not acting like normal.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it was not a bear or a woodchuck.

Speaker 2:

It was stumbling Like our neighbor. Yeah, it was stumbling drunkenly up our driveway in the middle of the day, which is not Fisher cat behavior.

Speaker 1:

And my third example is a curu disease similar to mad cow disease, also a prion Curu disease, found among people from New Guinea who practice in a form of cannibalism in which they ate the brains of dead people as a part of a funeral ritual, and they developed curu, which was very similar to mad cow disease and made them very aggressive and want to eat people more what makes them zombies than having a disease.

Speaker 1:

Well, their brains are altered so that in a way that the virus kind of takes over and wants to spread more of the virus. So mad cow disease and curu and rabies. It made them more aggressive and, especially in rabies, like it created a salivary reflex, which is how it spread. That virus is through the salivary glands, got it Okay? So, like all of these examples are examples where the disease wants to spread itself and it affects specifically the brain and manipulates the organism.

Speaker 2:

And that's an exodus zombie. Yeah, okay, what's the next kind?

Speaker 1:

Radiation zombies. I should also say that these have have acronyms, so pathogenic zombies are PZs, radiation zombies are RZs, so these zombies are created from extreme exposure to electromagnetic or particle radiation. We don't have any real life examples of these, but like we see it in movies. So, like a nuclear reactor disaster, some victims get radiation poisoning, half of them get superpowers, the other half become zombies. Good times, so that's nuclear bombing victims. Specifically reference Hiroshima and Nagasaki because those are the two places that have been affected by direct nuclear conflict.

Speaker 2:

I read a book called we have Nagasaki Once and it Will Be Forever. Ashes Into my Brain Doesn't have zombies, no, it just has all the really horrible things that happen when you suffer. That's our nuclear explosion.

Speaker 1:

Not as fun as zombies. No, yeah, so same with the nuclear reactor victims. These people would suffer severe radiation effects like altering their DNA to become human eating zombies Human eating zombies Got it Okay and the third, which we don't see as much of. But I feel like there's got to be a few movies that do this. Radiotherapy side effects in people like cancer patients. I don't like this one. Yeah, I don't like it as much either. That would probably be a very offensive movie to watch.

Speaker 2:

I think, so I don't like that one yeah.

Speaker 1:

We're going to move on to Evil, magic Zombies, emzs as the name suggests, these zombies arise from occult experimentation. These are zombie life forms created by some form of evil, magical or supernatural forces.

Speaker 2:

This I am into. Okay, I really appreciate that the government was like, yeah, this could be real. Yeah, magic, evil, magic.

Speaker 1:

And what I love about this is that it not only confirms the existence of zombies by the US government, but also the existence of magic. To have evil magic zombies, there has to be somebody in the Department of Defense that says we know magic is real and it is a threat to our national security. I love this. I love this. So these actually come from some real roots, whether you believe it or not. In folklore and mythology, such as Haitian voodoo, zombies Got it. That's where zombies originated from. Is voodoo?

Speaker 2:

We still endure an episode on that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we do. There's a book called, I think it's Over the Dark Rainbow. It's something it was written in 1985 where a guy researched a voodoo ritual where they brought zombies back to life. There's a lot of science that talks about how this voodoo ritual creates a zombie, but it is something that has been practiced in history and when you break it down, there's the use of psychedelic drugs and other coercive means to create a basically a slave who will do anything. You say that's horrible. Yeah, so one of the examples from movies and TV shows would be the necromancy used in the movie Army of Darkness.

Speaker 2:

What's necromancy.

Speaker 1:

Necromancy is using evil magic to raise the dead.

Speaker 2:

So that would also be like, oh my God, we could talk about this movie in the show. Sorry, I just realized Pet Cemetery. Yeah those are definitely zombie pets.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, those would be Evil Magic Zombies. Oh yeah, cool. Also, I wanted to include the resurrected Hokage's from Naruto. That's cool, they were zombies.

Speaker 2:

I want a Hokage t-shirt now. I want a whole collection of zombie shirts, which there's not a very good collection out there.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you know, we need to make some good zombie shirts yes. That's the only option.

Speaker 2:

Also some Rule 34 or Zom.

Speaker 1:

Dom Zom Dom. Get you Zom Dom t-shirt. Get your wallets ready, everybody. We're going to make so much merch and we're going to expect you to buy it so that we can quit our jobs.

Speaker 2:

Rule 34 is somebody only into it?

Speaker 1:

Also literary works, while this also counts as a TV show, the Game of Thrones. The White Walkers were Evil, magic Zombies.

Speaker 2:

That is true. They were kind of like a hive mind.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's true. Moving on our next category of zombies, space Zombies, which we just read a book.

Speaker 2:

So do they have plans for all these different types of zombies?

Speaker 1:

This is a categorization system, so this is a system that you're going to use to make a plan. Oh yeah, we'll get into that later. Okay, so Space Zombies, szs we just talked about Clay's Ark, which I would include in these Space Zombies, definitely.

Speaker 2:

Space Zombies.

Speaker 1:

These are zombies that come from space or are created by extraterrestrial means. So some theories include, like meteorite falls bringing extraterrestrial materials to Earth like a virus or some type of parasite or fungal form, space radiation, going along with the whole radioactive zombies bits. Space radiation is exposed to astronauts and they come back as astronaut zombies. And then there's the hypothesis of panspermia that suggests that life here on Earth came from extraterrestrial origins.

Speaker 2:

Panspermia, panspermia, pansperm.

Speaker 1:

Pansperm? Okay, yeah, it's exactly what it sounds like. Got it. Sperm from space, sperm from space, yeah. Moving on vegetarian zombies, how do you feel about VZs Leah? I'm confused. What do they eat? So these zombies do not eat humans, but pose a threat to plant life?

Speaker 2:

Oh, sounds like us.

Speaker 1:

Agriculture, yes, and natural ecological balance. So swarms of locusts could be considered vegetarian zombie when they devastate crops, invasive plant species like kudzu and agricultural pests such as the Colorado potato beetles.

Speaker 2:

Damn potato beetles yeah.

Speaker 1:

So, like if you're creating your zombie scenario and you got some VZs, they might be some kind of zombie that eats a lot of plant life and throws the order of the ecosystem out of life.

Speaker 2:

Interesting, interesting Okay.

Speaker 1:

So this is a semi-intelligent kudzu.

Speaker 2:

I don't like that Kudzu, if they may tell kudzu. You know it is impossible to get rid of once it arrives and our dog is groaning like a zombie in the background.

Speaker 1:

Nero, what are you groaning about? I know you want to be free. Maybe we should just let him be free.

Speaker 2:

Let's let him be free. I also think it's just because he's for the pod friends here. Our doggies are very spoiled and they're always with us and literally we put a small gate to keep them in the living room, in which they can still see us quite well, because really it was just like a gate between a pole and our couch and that is upsetting, yeah.

Speaker 1:

All right To the doggo. Well, they're free. Our DZs dog zombies are enough for you. Next in the list is the weaponized zombies WZs. These are zombies created through chemical or biological engineering for military purposes. So this could come from biological warfare research, chemical weapons causing mass casualties and bioengineering like gene editing. If a government decided to create a gene altering chemical that turns people into mindless cannibals, that could be a form of zombification. Got it. Next is symbiote induced zombies. These Zs arise from the introduction of a symbiote life form into an otherwise healthy host. These zombies are somewhat similar to pathogenic zombies, so examples of these would be the parasitic wasps, which are actually just called parasitoid wasps. They lay eggs in their insects and those eggs In other insects yeah.

Speaker 1:

They also lay eggs in their insects to go find a good place to go die while their eggs hatch from inside. That's gross. They are eaten from the inside out.

Speaker 2:

That's very gross Toxoplasmosagandia.

Speaker 1:

We talked about this. It's a parasite that alters rodent behavior to not be afraid of cats, so that if cats then eat them, they spread more toxoplasmosa.

Speaker 2:

Okay, this I kind of love.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

They're not afraid of cats.

Speaker 1:

Also, toxoplasmosa affects human beings and often makes them more depressed. Oh, and maybe that's how cats control us.

Speaker 2:

This sounds accurate.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, nero knows all about how cats are trying to take over the world.

Speaker 2:

The more you say cat, the more he stops groaning. So it's kind of working.

Speaker 1:

And then, finally, mind control. Fungi like the ophioid cordyceps unilateralis and ants Also. That's not the only cordyceps that does this, but that's the example that we see most often in movies and TV. Got it All right. This is our last example, and this is the most ridiculous sounding one, but also the only one that there is a real world, actual explanation as to how it can happen. Okay, the chicken, zombies, the CZs.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you just read an article about this and to say it was upsetting, it's an understatement.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so these are chickens that have been improperly euthanized, usually on farms, and buried due to their incomplete death, managed to dig their way back to the surface. This phenomenon is a result of the chickens not being fully dead, and their movements are more of a biological reflex than any conscious or zombie-like behavior.

Speaker 2:

That is horrible.

Speaker 1:

And you read a little bit about this. I did, yeah, I sent it to you and you were like, wow, thanks for the warning, yeah no warning.

Speaker 2:

I was going to read out chickens that are killed from carbon dioxide poisoning and the ones that survive and then thrown into a compost pile, and then there's ones that don't die and they slowly crawl out of the ground. They're very zombie-like, yeah, except that they barely survived a horrible, painful death that they claim is not painful, but took me exactly three seconds of looking into academic journals found that no, indeed, carbon dioxide poisoning is painful, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Distressing, I have to say the least A little bit, if you ever breathe carbon dioxide. I got a little taste of this, driving in the semi-truck that I drive for work. How I found out on a couple occasions that if I have the windows up, the cab fills with carbon monoxide.

Speaker 2:

That's even the dioxide.

Speaker 1:

It is, but it has similar effects headaches, dizziness and also just feeling like you can't breathe deeply enough. You feel suddenly like you start to hyperventilate and you're just like, why do I breathe like this? And then I realize oh, I'm dying, I need to open a window. Anyone who's heard our billionaire bunkers episode? Or listen to episode 27,. We talked about the billionaires in 27.

Speaker 2:

We did Mark the Zuck. There's Zuck the Zuck.

Speaker 1:

Yes, it sucks to Zuck.

Speaker 2:

Or does that, I think, zuck's pretty happy?

Speaker 1:

Anyone who's heard those episodes knows that I am a strategic mastermind.

Speaker 2:

Back to my diplomacy of apple pie.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly, leah's good at pie and I'm good at dye. I didn't know where to go with that, so I took the pleasure of using conplan 8888 to create a detailed plan for the real existential threat that we face right now. What's that? Evil magic chicken, zombies oh my God.

Speaker 2:

EMCZ's Evil magic chicken zombies. Also a great t-shirt. Yes, I want to just back up for a second to make it clear for folks. So you're using the specific structure of a battle plan. Yes, so the first part of this training aid, that is conplan 8888 to prepare how to respond to the EMCZ Zed's evil magic chicken zombies, that's right.

Speaker 1:

Okay, this is all exactly correct.

Speaker 2:

So there are different parts of a battle plan. Yeah, there's kind of like a hole in the blank.

Speaker 1:

I think there's 12 different sections that this plan outlines to create a full plan.

Speaker 2:

And we're going to go through each one.

Speaker 1:

We're going to go through it.

Speaker 2:

And we're going to create a plan together.

Speaker 1:

I created the plan, but I'm going to tell you this plan and give me your insight as we go.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, step one we need to create a situational overview. So our threat, the EMCZ's. There's an outbreak in the Midwest and it's spreading rapidly. This is the situation here.

Speaker 2:

And also in the Midwest lots of chicken factories yeah.

Speaker 1:

And like Arkansas, where else, missouri, kansas, texas for sure Is Texas the Midwest? I don't know, I don't know what to. I think Texas is just Texas.

Speaker 2:

The situation overview is starting to get very inaccurate, but it's okay.

Speaker 1:

Where do you think the Midwest is?

Speaker 2:

Like Illinois, michigan, minnesota. You want to know why? Now, because that's the Midwest area that I work in. He would know better than. I. That's really funny that I'm better at American geography than you. Yeah, it's great for my citizenship test coming up.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I feel like the Midwest is everything from like the Mississippi River to like the border of California. No, it's Midwest.

Speaker 2:

Why don't we just say there's an EMCZ outbreak in hold? On, I'm going to Google where the most chicken. Let's just go with the Midwest, where are the most chicken factories, farms raised In the US? Georgia, oh my God, I didn't know that. Georgia, arkansas, alabama, north Carolina, mississippi none of those are the Midwest.

Speaker 1:

Well, let's go with Arkansas. That's kind of what I was picturing Arkansas, perfect. I don't know where Arkansas lies, like, what's its designation, is it? I guess it's central.

Speaker 2:

It's sort of southernish Southern, it's central.

Speaker 1:

Okay, southern, southern, southern yeah.

Speaker 2:

Alabama is also central time.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so these evil magic chicken zombies can infect other chickens, turning them also into evil magic chicken zombies. Okay, they zombify their victims and add them to their ranks. Humans can be infected, but they don't turn into zombies, they just die.

Speaker 2:

So there's just like drooling chicken zombies and they peck On mass. Yeah, they peck each other and I mean like how many of there could there be?

Speaker 1:

Well, I mean, how many chickens do you think there is in a single farm, and how many farms do you think are in Arkansas?

Speaker 2:

Oh my God, I'm just Googling rapidly there's 20,000 chickens or more crowded together on a shed floor per shed.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean, how many sheds are on a farm? Oh my God, Probably probably more than one.

Speaker 2:

I'm just kidding, how many chickens are there in Arkansas? 26,504.

Speaker 1:

That sounds right. That's a lot.

Speaker 2:

That's in the number in thousand shed, number in thousand head. So that's actually more than just relate, just believe, is that 26,000,000?

Speaker 1:

Yes, okay, Whatever 26,000,000 is, there's a lot of chickens. That's 26 billion, no, I don't know.

Speaker 2:

26,000 times a thousand, that's just bad math. Okay, hold on. Broiler type chicks hatched in Arkansas during April 2022, totaled 84 million. Okay, this is a fucking serious outbreak. This is a serious outbreak. That's almost a third of the human population in chickens in these horribly crowded conditions they're definitely going to become the evil magic chicken zombies.

Speaker 1:

The third of the US population, almost. Yeah, yeah, and there are. I mean, on earth there are like billions upon billions of chickens there are. That's just the number that are slaughtered each year. Yeah, this is already very All right, so let's move on to our mission statement. This is this is part two of our strategy. Okay, our primary objective is to stop the spread of EMCZs evil magic chicken zombies.

Speaker 2:

These poor chickens. They had a bad rap from the beginning. That's true.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and we do that. We got to end it because it's just going to get worse. It's, unfortunately. This is the military response.

Speaker 2:

What happens to somebody eats an EMCZ.

Speaker 1:

Well, humans can be infected by eating or being packed by chicken zombies, okay, but they do not become zombies, they just die.

Speaker 2:

How do EMCZs get killed?

Speaker 1:

Well, we're going to cover that in our plan, okay, okay, our mission, our secondary objectives of our mission statement, is to aid citizens and secure key, secure, key assets.

Speaker 2:

So the first places to get hit would probably be, like, obviously, farms, yeah. And then surrounding small towns.

Speaker 1:

Small towns, then moving on to big cities, All of the. Where it gets really hard is when they get into the woods.

Speaker 2:

You know what this is bringing back for me? It's bringing back for me the question, the zombie wing question, which is would you rather fight one horse sized zombie or 100 duck sized zombies? Which is basically a chicken sized zombie? Yeah, okay, I'm telling you a picture of this.

Speaker 1:

All right, let's move on. So the concept, our strategy, is a mass deployment of soldiers conducting door to door and ground warfare operations. We need to avoid air of effect. Weapons like bombs, chemicals fire. To reduce collateral damage. We need to secure assets. So no, carpet bombing, no carpet bombing and also probably wouldn't be totally effective against such small targets.

Speaker 2:

But what so? What would the? Are you going to get into this later? Like, what would the ground warfare look like? Yeah, like, can you do you have to shoot the chicken in the head is really what I want to know. We'll get into that, but yes, okay.

Speaker 1:

I need to know. Yes, that is. The answer is yes. Phases of operation number four the initial response both 101st and 82nd Airborne divisions would deploy and establish a large perimeter around the area. As many soldiers as we can put on the ground around the outbreak, that's how many we need. Would you try and fence them? We could use fences. That's a good addition to the strategy Like bring bring chicken wire.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's gotta be chicken wire, otherwise it's not going to work.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, you know and and like a lot of times the deployment strategy is like building bunkers and stuff, like instead of concrete and sandbags, maybe, instead we just deploy with rolls of chicken wire, yep, and then we just attach them to trees, our shooting positions. So in order to achieve containment, our formation has to have airtight firing lines. So crossing cones of fire, like there can't be an inch, that's not watched because that inch is almost the size of a whole chicken. So if somebody is not watching a chicken sized area in this formation, that could be where the chickens get through.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, chicken gets through the whole, the whole of the South and North America are fucked.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and then in our, in our third phase of operation, neutralization we systematically advance towards the center, ensuring no breaches.

Speaker 2:

Again, those no breaches are really key, like can the chicken zombie transmit it to another bird? Hmm, we don't know. Because chickens, can chickens fly, or are chickens typically cropped wings?

Speaker 1:

Chickens can flap themselves short distances, but yeah, they don't. They don't really fly there. They've been genetically modified to be too fat, with too small and underpowered wings to fly.

Speaker 2:

That's so sad. It is sad We've created monsters, frankenstein chickens. They are literally chickens. Now they're Frankenstein zombie chickens.

Speaker 1:

So let's move on to command and control. Leadership will be conducted by special operations command utilizing airborne divisions.

Speaker 2:

You're taking this very seriously, aren't you?

Speaker 1:

I am very serious about this plan. The success of this plan is the survival of the human race and chicken kind alike.

Speaker 2:

But do you? Okay, you know what? I'm in it for the chickens, the other chickens that are not infected yet.

Speaker 1:

And we don't yeah, we don't know about zoonautical shifts. We're going to have to collaborate with other sources of intelligence to find out what effect chickens have on other wildlife. Okay, but before that, we know that we need to lock it down so that it doesn't happen.

Speaker 2:

I have an existential question about this plan, but I'm going to wait until the end.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so you're also going to integrate National Guard under special operations command.

Speaker 2:

I hope this. What do these things mean? Well, like what's special operation command.

Speaker 1:

Special operations is a a part of the US Army that conducts special operations. So special forces, airborne forces, Delta Force, the Navy has things like the Navy Seals and the underwater demolitions.

Speaker 2:

Okay, can I ask you a really dumb question?

Speaker 1:

Yes, does airborne mean they're in the air. Airborne means that they jump out of airplanes with parachutes. Okay.

Speaker 2:

That's what I thought. That's what I thought, but I didn't know where I was like. But what if they're down? I don't know, Like the Band of Brothers.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so they're. They called them paratroopers back then, but they were the 82nd Airborne Division.

Speaker 2:

If y'all can hear groaning, it's our dog, whose name I will not say, because it'll just make him do it more.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, he really wants our attention he does, so we need to speed this plan up. Let me do. I'm going to add a note into our plan is that we need to spend a certain amount of resources on Nero for him to stop groaning.

Speaker 2:

He acts like his life is so hard.

Speaker 1:

Moving on to legal considerations. Oh no, so we would need to get congressional approval and declare martial law in order for US Army forces to deploy within US borders.

Speaker 2:

What is martial law?

Speaker 1:

Martial law is when the government suspends habeas corpus and restricts the rights of the citizens and makes exceptions for military personnel to be deployed into the combat zone that is now declared the US. And what is habeas corpus? I don't know. The body of rights, okay. So yeah, basically civilian rights are on hold.

Speaker 2:

That's great. This reminds me of a question I had to answer on my citizenship test, which was will I pick up arms and violently defend the United States if I'm ordered to by?

Speaker 1:

law. The correct answer is yes. Yes, that's how you pass that test.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I said yes. That's why I can't say I pass this anymore. Yeah, I don't think I am in general, but yeah. Yeah, okay, but you could constrict in other ways that would be more beneficial, like you could provide services that are not necessarily yeah, but I only wanted three questions around, basically being like can we forcefully take your labor from you if it's agreed by law? And the answer is yes, I said yes to all three.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because you don't really don't have a choice. No, that's something you agreed to. Nero, can you stop groaning, little buddy, I gave you a toast Like what more could you possibly want? I don't have any more Guys, I don't have any more. I think he wants pets. Moving on to our next part of our battle plan, this is civilian, military, civilian and paramilitary cooperation. Okay, we're going to utilize police, national Guard and other paramilitary such as, like paramedics and firefighters, for the use of civilian extraction and assistance.

Speaker 2:

So what does that look like? Like I'm a farmer, the chickens are running at me.

Speaker 1:

I'm running away Like you're trapped on your roof because there's an angry horde of zoners, millions of chickens yeah, magical chicken zombies around your house and you can't leave and you're stuck there. A firefighter shows up in their fire truck, they extend the ladder to your roof and they take you to a safe zone.

Speaker 2:

I have a question yeah, what does a chicken zombie horde sound like? Okay, but like that, like on that, like a lot of that, yeah, they just sound like chickens, really Okay, but maybe they're like they're.

Speaker 1:

They're they're because like a little bit more distorted. They're just like so imagine millions of that.

Speaker 2:

Okay, that sounds horrible.

Speaker 1:

So we're going to move on to our next point logistics and support. So this is pretty easy, because the US Army has a lot of this already built in. We don't have to reinvent the wheel. So we're going to have to first procure shotguns. The US Army has some shotguns, but not enough to arm an entire army with shotguns. Okay, the reason for this is that chickens have very small heads and they have a very small target. That's also moving. You're not going to be able to do that with an M4 or an M16 or other other rifle.

Speaker 2:

that soldiers are typically why we invented bird shot.

Speaker 1:

Yes, so so somebody is going to have to procure this from the civilian market. Shotguns and bird shots standard pump action is fine.

Speaker 2:

You know, the good citizens of the United States will probably be willing to hand over, because Americans are definitely willing to hand over their weapons?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I was trying to figure out if you're joking or not, I'm definitely joking. They'll be like yeah, actually, and in the second amendment it specifically states that US Army can't take our weapons. Yeah, so I mean, it wouldn't be hard to find the numbers of shotguns.

Speaker 2:

Got a.

Speaker 1:

Walmart and yeah, just I mean if you make a partnership with somebody like Walmart Runnings Runnings is another one Love going to Runnings to get some survival gear. Dick's Sporting.

Speaker 2:

Dick's Sporting. We got ours. What was it?

Speaker 1:

I think it was Dick's. Anyways you know, the US Army would have people that would be then going to these major retailers and acquiring these weapons Not for free, they would pay for them because that's part of the budget, got it. Logistical support would be from the US Army. You know, airplanes, helicopters, trucks, trains, whatever you need You're going to provide the logistical support moving gear and food to the front lines where it's needed. Logistics wins wars. Interesting, yeah, infantry fights battles. Logistics wins wars.

Speaker 2:

That makes sense. You got to have all your shit together.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's why. That's why Russia is in the situation that they're in. I'm going to, from that point, going to move on to training and preparation.

Speaker 2:

So they're prepared for this.

Speaker 1:

Well, not yet, but we have to now train soldiers how they're going to deal with this and also how to use a new weapon.

Speaker 2:

So are we training them in this scenario, because it's already happened and we've got training really fast yeah?

Speaker 1:

They're going to have to apply their standard marksmanship skills to a new type of weapon. It shouldn't be hard because they're very basic, but it's going to be a new thing for some people, so that training and preparation is going to have to focus on shotgun operation and accuracy, hitting small moving targets. All right, then, and also safe poultry handling techniques.

Speaker 2:

Do they have to wear plastic or rubber gloves?

Speaker 1:

US Army will probably be in level for mission oriented preventive posture, mop four. This includes an oversuit that has a charcoal lining, a gas mask, rubber gloves and rubber boots and a rubber hood full protection from biological, nuclear and chemical warfare.

Speaker 2:

That's probably pretty smart in this case, because just the feces alone of that many chickens and one space is a salmonella. Yeah, definitely that's not a good time I mean evil magic salmonella. Because they're probably, they're definitely covered in salmonella bacteria.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's probably how it's spreading. Is salmonella? See, we're already finding new intel here. We're figuring out how it's spreading salmonella. We need Lysol.

Speaker 2:

I mean that actually should be part of the plan. What part of the plan is that? That would be?

Speaker 1:

I have some considerations at the end, but let's keep rolling through this. We're going to talk about public affairs and information management, so communication via emergency broadcast systems and other media to civilians is how we're going to inform the public about what they should be doing. Just nod at the chickens. In this case, they should be instructed to shelter in place and, if they need to evacuate to safe zones, and also how to dispose of poultry and how to handle any types of magical chicken zombies that might be in their fridge. Any and all poultry, regardless of if it is of a magical source, needs to be disposed of.

Speaker 2:

Wow, that's a lot of chickens?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but they can't risk it. So if you've got poultry in that freezer, throw it out.

Speaker 2:

That's 1.2 billion broiler chickens live in the United States at any given time.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, now imagine they're all zombies.

Speaker 2:

Oh my God, they're only 42 days old and they're slaughtered, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Oh, these ones are a little over.

Speaker 2:

And then we have the egg laying hens. That are 374 million. Yeah, a US population of 1.5 billion chickens.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, some considerations should be made for eggs as well. Yeah, because eggs, I'm sure, are also going to carry this evil magic chicken pathogen.

Speaker 2:

This is a mess. I don't know if I don't like this repossibilty. This is like one of the worst zombie apocalypse.

Speaker 1:

I've ever had. It's bad. This is literally worse than human beings coming back. It absolutely is, and it's because, honestly, I like chickens better than humans. Yes, we're going to talk about that in a moment. Post-operation plan. So this is after our plan has worked. Okay, we are going to now plan for our post-operations. So we're going to restore order, using National Guard, police and paramilitary and FEMA to aid and civilians getting back to life as normal. Okay, army operations will handle Corpse Disposals because of their mission-oriented preventive posture suits, and they're going to handle site sanitation. So we are going to have to make a deal with Lysol.

Speaker 2:

We're going to need a lot yeah, a lot of Lysol.

Speaker 1:

I imagine that we're going to have to repurpose flamethrowers from World War II and just fill those tanks with Lysol.

Speaker 2:

Honestly, I think the entirety of the United States is going to just need to be Lysold.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, which is probably going to cause some ecological concerns, probably.

Speaker 2:

The EPA is not going to help. Happy about this.

Speaker 1:

Yeah Well, the EPA is already pissed.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 1:

And then finally, contingency planning. So we have to address the risk of soldiers being overrun by hordes of chickens A strong possibility. We already talked about using chicken wire. That would be very helpful, probably, if we can get it in heights that are like really tall. If we can get some 12-foot chicken wire, we can do a lot with that, that's true. Also, it's important that the front line isn't the only line of defense. We need to establish multiple lines of defense in safe intervals so that not only we can prevent overrun situations, but also soldiers at the front line can then fall back for a free armament and rest and also some psychological support.

Speaker 2:

I think so because this is going to be nightmarish Yule.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so we've got some additional considerations and these are things that I came up with after planning. We could probably add a few more to these. I bet we could. Psychological support the unusual nature of the threat might require psychological support for both civilians and military personnel. I think we would need some serious psychological support if zombie chickens in the billions came at us.

Speaker 2:

How would PTSD potentially show up after you have fought? A billion 1.5 billion chickens.

Speaker 1:

I'm sleeping in my bed at home. It's 20 years later. First of all, we no longer have any chicken feather pillows, they're all memory foam. That's a good start, Because the smell I can't take it. I'm sleeping. It's a restless sleep. I'm tossing and turning, twitching every now and then, and you look over and you're like oh, I hope Dan's okay. And suddenly I erupt from my fitful sleep and I say bruh. I didn't expect that International consideration. So if there's a risk of outbreak spreading beyond the borders, international cooperation might be necessary.

Speaker 2:

I think it would definitely be necessary.

Speaker 1:

I think we should at least contact Mexico and Canada.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I wonder how much of the chicken does cross borders. I have no idea.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think that we'll probably have to coordinate on anybody who has been purchasing poultry from the United States at that point.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So then dispose of that poultry in mass scale. You better hope Chicken is not on the menu anymore. So chicken is just no longer a menu and item. Yeah, and it might not ever come back.

Speaker 1:

It depends on if they can safely determine whether or not chickens are still at risk of being infected.

Speaker 2:

Do you want to guess how many billion chickens there are in the world? 85. Oh no, you're going to make it sound so unimpressive. 33 billion, that's still a lot. It is almost, or no. That is four times the world population of humans. Yeah, so it's like a year, or even whatever it is. It's like 42 days.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Over 42 days and there's more chickens.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So another consideration research and intelligence. We need to investigate the source and nature of the evil magic to find out if there are alternative ways to counter the threat. Ideally, we would start doing this at the beginning, but in order to act on the threat, we can't wait for this research to give us an alternate option.

Speaker 2:

I think that's fair.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we can't wait for the Lysol Corporation to make a deal with the US government so that we can fill our backpacks with Lysol and then have a priest from the Vatican. Bless the Lysol.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you know, this plan really misses the evil magic part of the zombie. Actually, it's taking a very scientific approach which is like there's more to this.

Speaker 1:

This is a practical military approach to an evil magic problem. Yeah, we're going to need to do continuous monitoring. We're going to have to set up a system for ongoing surveillance and early warning to prevent future outbreaks. And finally, this I think I might have missed this. I feel like this should have been part of the battle plan. But the environmental impact. You have to consider the environmental impact of the operation, especially in the disposal of the carcasses.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, because you can't eat them, you can't feed them.

Speaker 1:

To anything else we're probably going to have to burn them. I'm never going to look at chicken the same way. We're going to have to Lysol them and then burn them.

Speaker 2:

That's a lot of CO2 in the air. And also like any this is not going to help us meet our global climate change targets.

Speaker 1:

Any groundwater might have the possibility of being contaminated. Local wildlife and plant life could be also forever altered by this operation. But there we go. That's our plan for dealing with the evil magic chicken zombies.

Speaker 2:

I feel bad for these chickens. They didn't want to be evil magic chickens. They didn't want to be born into their shitty, shitty lives.

Speaker 1:

But then again, maybe they did want to be evil.

Speaker 2:

So barely there's 85 million chickens a year if you consider all the times that they are like born, slaughtered and then more chickens. Yeah, 85 billion a year, yeah.

Speaker 1:

That's probably where I got that number from.

Speaker 2:

This is a yeah you must have read it somewhere, but that is like that is a pandemic.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that is. That is a that's a lot. Yeah, that is a lot.

Speaker 2:

I guess, like my existential question is like if you're a chicken and your life already sucks, okay, it sucks the whole way through. If you're a factory farm chicken, which is like 99.9% of chickens, do you want the apocalypse to end? Or is this like the ultimate revenge and like, just be like?

Speaker 1:

this is revenge.

Speaker 2:

I'm choosing even if you live longer, like if you go on to like humane websites or you follow animal sanctuaries that have factory farm chickens that get to survive, for whatever reason, they don't live very long and they have all kinds of physical issues.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because they're too fat and too big for their body and they walk on chicken legs, so like their toes are all fucked up.

Speaker 2:

Oh man, dark, yeah, evil chicken zombies. This is. This is the movie I want to see.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, somebody make this movie. I don't. I don't have it in me to make this Complaining 88.

Speaker 2:

I mean like it could really be an excellent military movie that could sort of deal with the existential crisis of like do we really need to consume this money, Chickens?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's a lot of chickens. That's a lot of chickens on screen. That's just a lot of feathers.

Speaker 2:

It would be quite disturbing, and you know what birds can be really scary Geese specifically, yeah, but zombies A zombie, oh, a zombie. Goose would be a not okay, because I got those long necks. Yeah, they can really get at you from clothes or further away than you think.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, at the farm that our horse lived at there was a group of geese. I called them the goose mafia. They're terrifying they were. They would just kind of like just waddle up to you like strutting, like Go kick your ass.

Speaker 2:

This is my barn.

Speaker 1:

They'd raised their chin like they were trying to be taller than you, and they'd just come up and first of all, geese have teeth.

Speaker 2:

They do Little tiny razor teeth.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and they, they will come at you and they will just start pecking at you and try to bite you. Yeah, and the only thing I could do is just like kick them. They told us Self defense. They told us like yeah, just kick them, just kick the shit out of them.

Speaker 2:

Well, that's not they're like if you need to. The other thing that was very helpful was a broom.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. They started to fear me so like when we were taking care of our horse atlas. When I'd see the goose mafia come in, I just kind of like puff up and make myself bigger and then I just march right towards them like I was about to kick their ass and they will just like turn around to waddle the other direction.

Speaker 2:

I mean that's a really good point, though it's not hard to manage like three geese. Now imagine, oh my god. Millions Poppins, the chickens in Arkansas coming at you with like jewel and blood all over them doing that. Do the, please do the grown sound again. This is a bad time, but honestly. I really want this to be a movie now.

Speaker 1:

This would be an incredible movie. I feel like.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, somebody needs. Somebody needs to do this.

Speaker 2:

So very, at least somebody needs to illustrate Call your local, represent An evil magic chicken. Zombie shirt. I need this.

Speaker 1:

Okay, we're going to get on this, we're going to make these chickens zombie shirts.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I want this.

Speaker 1:

All right. So, uh Leah, do you have any survival tips?

Speaker 2:

Let's all just stop eating chicken so that we can prevent. The best prevention or the best uh. What does they say? Like a pound of the best offense is a good defense. Yes, just let's not have chickens anymore. We don't need them.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we really don't. So I've got, I've got two survival tips. First one make a plan and follow through. Two have a backup plan for one year. First plan fails.

Speaker 2:

Well, that's what I think. I think this is a backup plan for the magical zombie part, because it's assuming that they're going to just respond to science.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

But if you're, if you're the person controlling the magical zombies, imagine there's somebody who's like the chicken man sir. The chicken man sir, yeah, you got you. You probably have workarounds for Lysol and all of these things.

Speaker 1:

That's true, but usually, uh, zombies work on a, on a universal set of rules that if you blow their heads off, that's usually the end. Okay, unless it's return of the living dead from 1985, and then that's a little bit.

Speaker 2:

Oh my god, can you imagine the little chicken feet coming at you like dismembered chicken feet, just still running towards you, some chicken wings Climbing at you. Oh, that brings a whole new thought around chicken wings. No, yeah, yeah. How many Zeds would you give conplan 8088?

Speaker 1:

You know I don't do this often but I give, I give as a US Army training tool. I give it 10 Zed words because I have read a lot of field manuals, a lot of training materials. I've learned how to operate so many different weapons and pieces of equipment and it was all really dry and 100 percent sterile. Information like this is information you need to know, read it, learn it, know it forever. And this was fun and I've never seen fun done in the army.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's like who did it first, the CDC or conplan 8088.

Speaker 1:

I think it was conplan yeah.

Speaker 2:

I guess you know what love my tax dollars going to military. This is what they're going to produce.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, they need to produce more conplan 8888 if we're going to be given them all this money. I agree they need to make. The US Army needs to start making graphic novels like. We need to get something out of this. I do yeah, all right. Well, there you go. Everybody remember, you know you. You have some homework to do. First of all, buy Sylvester Barzee's book.

Speaker 2:

Planet dead. Yeah, first of a series Planet dead.

Speaker 1:

I don't think that you will regret it. I think it's a really great book. So far, we're like a quarter of the way in at this point.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and it's an easy quick read. It's not hard, it's not dense, but it gets to the point.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it starts being fun real fast. Yes, yeah, and we're going to talk about that on episode 35. So things you should know about Planet dead. That's it in a politically isolated future where the wall is built. They built the wall guys. They finally did it and America's turned its back on many of its allies. I wonder what that's like. And unknown viruses release into the world and there you go.

Speaker 2:

It could be that our inspiration for this episode the magical zombie, chicken virus or zombies, wait, what is it? The magical Evil?

Speaker 1:

magic chicken Evil magic chicken, emcz's.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think you know. Maybe they'll be in this book, you think so. I mean it does say an unknown virus. It is unknown, it's not to the world and it was infected. Die rapidly and painfully.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'm not going to say that there's people magic chickens, zombies in this book, but I also don't know that there's not.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, we're recording the way through. It could be coming, sylvester, don't let us down.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, also you can call us with your burning questions or zombie apocalypse tips. We just did an episode last week where we we answered some some voicemails from some callers about their questions about zombie apocalypse things. But yeah, we might play it on air if we like it and give us call at 614-699-0006.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, or email us at xanaybookclubpodcastgmailcom. Keep it short, because we have no attention span.

Speaker 1:

These things are all in the description, also some other, some other things. Whatever show notes that we have are always in the description. We try to link to whatever articles we use. There will be a link to conplan8888 in the description if you want to make your own zombie.

Speaker 2:

Or let us know, send us a voicemail about what you would do in the event of a magical evil magic chicken zombie.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you know, it's just you in your farmhouse with your shotgun. What are you doing?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we want to know. This would be a great role playing game. Maybe that's what we should be interested in.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, do you eat the?

Speaker 2:

chickens? Absolutely not, I mean unless I want to die.

Speaker 1:

I mean, we don't know, we haven't, we haven't, we don't have the intel. So maybe you can eat the chickens.

Speaker 2:

I thought you told me that if you eat the chicken, you die.

Speaker 1:

Oh, that's, that's all. That's, that's what the government's telling us. I'm not eating an infected chicken. Do you trust the government? Maybe eating evil magic chicken zombies gives you superpowers. We don't know, maybe it'll make me fly. Don't forget to subscribe Brighton review. That's how. That's how we spread this podcast like a virus into people's ear holes and turn them into a different kind of zombie, maybe a symbiotic zombie. What kind of zombie would that make us? If you've been paying attention to ours, to this episode, what kind of zombie are you? And thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram and threads.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, thanks for teaching me how to comp plan 8088, dan. I feel ready to join the military.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, let's join the army now.

Speaker 2:

No, thank you, unless I am required by law, in which case I will.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, thanks for listening. Everybody, have a good time.

Speaker 2:

Have a good day. Top Drive by On Cowboy with Gamble.

Zombie Book Club and Dark Humor
US Department of Defense Zombie Training
Exploring Various Types of Zombies
Stop Evil Magic Chicken Zombie Spread
Understanding Special Operations and Martial Law
Support for Zombie Chicken Logistics
The Movie Concept