Would you rather fight one horse-sized zombie or 100 duck-sized zombies? Well, get ready for our zombie game show inspired by Hollywood Squares and Snatch Game. This episode of Zombie Book Club is a hilarious rollercoaster ride into the world of zombie apocalypses.
We have on board with us Laurie Calcaterra, martial arts master and writer-creator of 'Path of the Pale Rider', Joshua Grant, who is bringing his bestselling comic 'Another Zombie Apocalypse' to life on screen, and Eric Mills, an interior designer living in the picturesque Puget Sound of the Northwest.
From contemplating the idea of an insect-based apocalypse to discussing unconventional seasoning options such as wine solids and raisins, this episode is a wild ride you wouldn't want to miss. We also explore the reality TV shows that would equip us best for a zombie apocalypse, and even debate the merits of memorizing musicals to intimidate rival apocalyptic gangs. Are you ready to join us on this zany journey?
Tune in to find out. And remember to subscribe and rate us with five stars to join the club!
Follow our linktree for social media links, and links to all the places you can find our podcast! https://linktr.ee/zombiebookclub
Laurie Calcaterra
@path_of_the_pale_rider on IG
https://pathofthepalerider.wpcomstaging.com/
Joshua Grant
@diabolic_shrimp on IG
https://diabolicshrimp.com/
Eric Mills
@ericlloyddesigns on IG
https://ericlloyddesigns.com/
Follow our linktree for social media links, and links to all the places you can find our podcast!
https://linktr.ee/zombiebookclub
Zombie Book Club Voicemail
(614) 699-0006
Zombie Book Club Email
ZombieBookClubPodcast@gmail.com
Our Secret Website That Isn't Finished
https://zombiebookclub.io
Our Merchandise Store (Where you can find our Evil Magic Chicken Zombie Shirts)
https://zombie-book-club.myspreadshop.com
Would you rather fight one horse-sized zombie or 100 duck-sized zombies? Well, get ready for our zombie game show inspired by Hollywood Squares and Snatch Game. This episode of Zombie Book Club is a hilarious rollercoaster ride into the world of zombie apocalypses.
We have on board with us Laurie Calcaterra, martial arts master and writer-creator of 'Path of the Pale Rider', Joshua Grant, who is bringing his bestselling comic 'Another Zombie Apocalypse' to life on screen, and Eric Mills, an interior designer living in the picturesque Puget Sound of the Northwest.
From contemplating the idea of an insect-based apocalypse to discussing unconventional seasoning options such as wine solids and raisins, this episode is a wild ride you wouldn't want to miss. We also explore the reality TV shows that would equip us best for a zombie apocalypse, and even debate the merits of memorizing musicals to intimidate rival apocalyptic gangs. Are you ready to join us on this zany journey?
Tune in to find out. And remember to subscribe and rate us with five stars to join the club!
Follow our linktree for social media links, and links to all the places you can find our podcast! https://linktr.ee/zombiebookclub
Laurie Calcaterra
@path_of_the_pale_rider on IG
https://pathofthepalerider.wpcomstaging.com/
Joshua Grant
@diabolic_shrimp on IG
https://diabolicshrimp.com/
Eric Mills
@ericlloyddesigns on IG
https://ericlloyddesigns.com/
Follow our linktree for social media links, and links to all the places you can find our podcast!
https://linktr.ee/zombiebookclub
Zombie Book Club Voicemail
(614) 699-0006
Zombie Book Club Email
ZombieBookClubPodcast@gmail.com
Our Secret Website That Isn't Finished
https://zombiebookclub.io
Our Merchandise Store (Where you can find our Evil Magic Chicken Zombie Shirts)
https://zombie-book-club.myspreadshop.com
Welcome to the Zombie Book Club, the only book club Period. The only book club that's also a zombie themed game show, where the rules are made up and I pick the winner. It's me, I make the rules and I enforce the victory. I'm Dan and I'm writing a book about zombies.
Speaker 2:I'm Leah and the host of today's zombie-ween game show. This has been a dream of mine for about six weeks Probably, when I emailed you all to ask if you could join, and I am trying to follow in the stilettoed footsteps of RuPaul, because this was all inspired by watching Snatch Game. Anybody's ever watched that but we need zombies involved. And so here we are. Today we've got four sorry three. Can I restate that, dan? Today we've got three fabulous fans and writers of the zombie genre here to compete for the grand prize, but nobody knows what it is yet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, nobody knows.
Speaker 3:It's a real zombie, right? Good luck.
Speaker 2:That could be right, josh, something like that.
Speaker 1:It might be five pounds of biological waste.
Speaker 2:Or a t-shirt. Actually, it's not. It's not. But before we get started, we'd love to hear from each of you who you are, what you want to shamelessly self-promote and where folks can find you. And I'm going to start with Lori Hi everybody, I'm Lori Calcutterra.
Speaker 4:I am the writer-creator of Path of the Pale Writer, which is a Western apocalyptic zombie series. I also did some martial arts. Well, I've been studying martial arts since 1997. I've choreographed fight scenes for production companies and that all plays into the story at some point. But I would love to shamelessly plug our issue number four, which is just finished up it's round on Kickstarter, and our website you can go to and check out all the shenanigans that we do is wwwpathofthepalewritercom. You can get copies of all of the issues, the Choose your Own Adventure book that is correct and also you can see all of the riddles that we've built and the short films that are fan-interactive. We have this whole world that you can participate in with this zombie apocalypse Western craziness. It's a blast. We're going to be smashing some pumpkins on Halloween as part of our stretch goals that we just unlocked, and it's going to be a blast. People get to vote on the pumpkin name and then the weapon of destruction I get to use so that sounds like a good time.
Speaker 4:It's going to be fun.
Speaker 3:I'm scared to go up against a martial arts master now in this.
Speaker 2:So definitely some martial arts moves for this competition, Josh. What?
Speaker 3:about you. Well, hello everyone. I'm so excited to be back on Dan and Leah's show Just such a great time every time I've been on, and so my name is Josh Grant. I'm the bestselling author and comic creator and video game designer these days, and I'm the executive producer on a film, a zombie film actually. That's coming along rather nicely, and so you can find out more about all my stuff on diabolicshrimpcom, which is my website, and YouTube, and I love supporting other authors as well.
Speaker 1:So anyone else? I almost forgot about the shrimp part.
Speaker 3:I used to have a little stick with my face on a shrimp and I don't know what happened to it. I hold it up, but I don't know what happened to that. Maybe it's an auction item, but yeah. My latest thing, though, is returning my bestselling comic, and other. Zombie apocalypse was a bunch of different takes on the zombie apocalypse. It's a comic book. It has a bunch of different styles and vampires and robots and all the whole spiel. So it's fun to hear the zombie Western there, but we're taking the first chapter of that, where a robot contemplates humanity during the zombie apocalypse, the disastrous effects, and we're turning into a film. We have like Mark Dotson, who was in Star Wars and Gremlins. He voiced all the Gremlins, but he he actually was in Day of the Dead originally, and so he's signed on to it.
Speaker 3:We have a few other people signed on, so, if you want to check it out, we have an Indiegogo campaign that's going on right now where you can actually meet some of these actors and you can receive signed stuff and be a part of the film and be credited in there, and so definitely, definitely come check it out. It's in I'm sure it's in the description down below somewhere.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it'll all be in the description.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's, it's called Husk, if you like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, check that out. Also, go name Laurie's pumpkins. I'm excited for that one too, Laurie.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, we should definitely name a pumpkin there's it's all in my social media.
Speaker 4:Usually it's the Facebook group Path of the Pale Rider that most of the shenanigans are in and everything else kind of points to that. But like the, the surveys that go out where I'm, the Kickstarter will also have a link. So if you back Path of the Pale Rider, you'll get a survey link where you can help name the pumpkin before we demolish it. Last campaign we had a watermelon and the people named it King Joffrey Baratheon because nice, relax that guy, why not?
Speaker 1:He wasn't very likeable. No, watermelon, we can't get him again.
Speaker 4:And now there's a watermelon plant growing in my backyard. Well, that's a win. King Joffrey Baratheon the second. He is back for blood and also a good backup.
Speaker 2:I was just thinking like what a waste of food and apocalypse. But if it's growing, that's it, and then last but not least I'd love, eric, for you to introduce yourself.
Speaker 5:Hi, my name is Eric Mills and I am living and residing in the beautiful Puget Sound of the Northwest. I live in Tacoma, washington, very close to Seattle, and I am a performer, said designer, do a lot of art, and I also am an interior designer. You can find me on Instagram at Eric 010 or at Eric Lloyd Designs that's Lloyd LL OID or at wwwerickloydesignscom. I specialize in really weird, wild, crazy, kooky, creative designs, not your slate and stone. So, yeah, lots of, lots of fun there and I'm just super excited to be here with all of you today.
Speaker 2:Thanks y'all. We're so excited about this.
Speaker 1:I have a design question. Yes, so I saw this one show on Home and Garden TV, hgtv, to those in the know, and what they did was they had a contractor go in and completely redo everything, and the host of the show had a backsplash and to really just knock the socks off of their client, they took the horizontal backsplash and turned it sideways. Do you do that?
Speaker 5:Yes, no, here's what I do. I connect with a contractor who does that, so they turn it sideways.
Speaker 1:They turn it sideways, I thought.
Speaker 3:Dan just wanted like a tornado. I just wanted an actual tornado in the background.
Speaker 2:We'll have to post a picture of that folks who are listening, because Dan's background is actually the background of the book design for his mom's book that show.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I talked a little bit about that in one of our episodes. My mom was a writer and well, she wrote a book in the early 90s. She got screwed over by her publisher, who was just kind of like trying to steal money from her, and then so they stole all the money that she invested into the publishing of it and then they declared bankruptcy and she never published the book. So like now, I've been kind of convincing her to publish the book and I made a cover for it. That's cool.
Speaker 4:So many horror stories out there. It's hard to convince people to self publish these days. You know what I mean and it's like heard all these stories Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, especially from back at that time. Like to self publish would be like admitting that your book isn't good enough to be published.
Speaker 3:Right, it's a different era nowadays, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's a more empowering area. You can just do things yourself. And I do want to give Eric a little extra promo, which is that he helped design my kitchen, which is not done yet, but we have the vision and it's ridiculous, which is why I love it. I'm so excited.
Speaker 5:I don't know if you remember me telling you, but I really. Have you been keeping track of your little tiny pieces of plastic? No, I keep forgetting. I've got to keep her because I have such a cool, colorful, awesome idea for a backslash.
Speaker 3:Sideways, it's actually diagonal. You're the whole kitchen sideways.
Speaker 1:That sink on the wall.
Speaker 4:That's not helpful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just turn it all around Sideways.
Speaker 2:As much as I'm loving this chat, we are here to fulfill a six week old dream of mine, which is the zombie. We mean game show inspired by Hollywood Squares. Any of you all watched Hollywood Squares back in the day, oh yeah, or Snatch Game.
Speaker 1:You know, I never actually did, even though I was the one to suggest to you that it's very similar to this. Yeah, or guys, I mean no. I mean no.
Speaker 5:I can remember going to my great aunt's house when I was younger and watching the match game online. Do you guys remember the match game that they created that off of that they created the Snatch Game concept, and it's so funny because it was also like Hollywood Squares where you had these different celebrities, and that's where, as a kid, I thought that you called breasts banny flags because that's what they would call them on the show.
Speaker 5:And I was like what? So as a kid that's what I thought it was called. Yeah, banny flags. Keeping that for like Thanks. Snatch Game.
Speaker 2:But actually this little zombie game game show is neither Hollywood Squares Snatch Game or a match game. It's something that we thought might be more like that, but then, as we start thinking about it, we want there to be a little bit more flexibility for y'all. But basically this is celebrate Halloween, or Salon, if you celebrate Salon, and mostly just our mutual love of zombies. So what we're going to do is I'm going to fire off zombie apocalypse questions for you all to answer in a word or a sentence, and your mission is basically to just arbitrarily cater to Dan's very weird sense of humor. So good luck, yeah.
Speaker 1:If I enjoy it, you win a point.
Speaker 2:Yes, and the person who wins a point gets something you'll find out about later. So does that sound onomous and not ominous? Ominous.
Speaker 3:It is ominous, ominous, anomous, I don't know. It sounds anonymous. I'm still stuck on fanny flags here.
Speaker 4:No, I was like that's going to get worked into an answer today. You just wait.
Speaker 2:I hope so. I hope all three of you come up at the same time. So what we'll do is I'll ask you a question, you'll have 30 seconds because I'm awesome that way I can make it really short to jot down your answer, and when the time's up, I will tell each of you to share your answers and then Dan decides, and the player who wins the most points wins something. Dan, anything you want to add before we jump in?
Speaker 1:Um, you know what, as a general, as a general concept, if you don't have a good answer, a good description of your, of your very bad answer, might be just as good as a good answer. Very, true.
Speaker 5:It's all about the entertainment value, that's what I'm hearing, yeah, and entertain me, are you not?
Speaker 4:entertained.
Speaker 5:I do have a quick request when you guys are in post, if you would just make sure in between each question you add the most God awful game show like music.
Speaker 2:I actually found some zombie grown, dan vetoed it. So we'll see what happens.
Speaker 1:They were pretty bad.
Speaker 2:We need that like really tacky just like it was very, very close to what happening today. All right, we're going to have four rounds. Folks, folks, just a sidebar. I'm a terrible moderator because I have a noun retrieval problem, so if I say something random, that's why like an ominous instead of ominous. But the first round one is would you rather? This is a little bit different because it's going to be an A or B sort of answer and basically if you're all on the same side, then I guess you all get a point. But if you land on different sides, then the side that convinces Dan that that's the right answer wins a point. You ready? You?
Speaker 5:ready to begin? Okay, dan answer music here. And you got number one.
Speaker 2:You got 30 seconds to think about it. What's scarier to you A zombie apocalypse or the 40 hour work week? And why, dan, more seconds? Three, two, one. Okay, who's feeling strongly about their answer? All right, josh, let's just. Before you give us your why, let's just go around real quick and tell me what you think is scarier zombie apocalypse or 40 hour work week, josh.
Speaker 3:Well, my answer, as bad as it is. This middle of the road I was like are they different? I'm not so sure, so I'm throwing in the 40 hour work week. I'll explain why. But I was like I'm pretty sure they're the same.
Speaker 2:That's deep, Eric.
Speaker 5:I also went with the 40 hour work week and I'll also go into why?
Speaker 2:And, laura, I see you pointing to yourself Same, same. Okay, 40 hour work week. No-transcript, 60 seconds.
Speaker 4:Laura, you go first, so I don't know if any of you worked retail or customer service, but it's pretty much what Josh said. It is the same. It's the same, but here's the difference. In the zombie apocalypse at least you can shoot them in the brain. You can actually act out those intrusive thoughts. In retail and in customer service you have to smile and take it. I'm not smiling, letting no zombie eat me. I'm going to shoot it in the brain. So 40 hour work week is way worse because you just have to grin and take it.
Speaker 2:Is there any particular customer, Laurie, that you really wish you could have? Oh, I have a list.
Speaker 4:Don't, don't use names. Today, we're not going to say names, but yeah, there are, but use names.
Speaker 1:that's when it becomes a crime. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4:And it becomes premeditated.
Speaker 3:We're all on the FBI's list, I mean.
Speaker 4:I was already. I was already on it On that list yeah.
Speaker 2:Eric convince us yeah.
Speaker 5:So I mean, have you ever been inside an office, you ever been inside of a call center?
Speaker 4:Yeah, You're inside Like yes.
Speaker 5:That exactly, basically just echoing what Laurie just said where it's like, look, I mean it's basically already that only in a zombie apocalypse, my thing is, I feel like under. If it's like, well, guess what, the whole thing is broken, Capitalism is bye, bye. Then like guess what? At least now it like opens up a lot easier to be like I'm running off to the woods and we're going to figure something else out. Like yeah, it just feels like it's so much of a better path to figuring out something different than whatever the hell this is dystopian nightmare.
Speaker 2:We're all in last night, at least Josh.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I have to say they're not that different. I mean the 40 hour work week you're you're eating out of like cans and like plastic bags and stuff, like trying to for your 15 minute lunch. You're like eating on the run all the time Like everyone's like tired. You're like stuck in like gridlock traffic. So it's like the exact same things you'll be doing in the zombie apocalypse anyway. But but in the zombie apocalypse you have that option, kind of like what Eric was saying. I was like I'm immediately going to become a cannibal. I mean, it's like I could be a little bit more lazy in the zombie apocalypse. It's like easier to eat people than to go out there and try and sell them stuff or whatever.
Speaker 2:You know, I thought I wanted to be in your zombie survival crew, Josh, but not anymore.
Speaker 3:I'm going to get a bus with like razor wire and like a harpoon gun and be like I'm going to bring me some meat pulpits.
Speaker 4:Let's go, I can identify with that. He's just hunting people. Yeah, yeah, right, I've made my decision.
Speaker 1:All right, dan. What was that? All right Winner. I mean, I'm not going to break down everyone's answers every time, but I think that this time I do. I do have to explain, brandon, I very much like your idea of.
Speaker 4:Brandon, brandon's Sorry.
Speaker 3:And he's getting a point. You know the problem is. Show up means the point. I know, you know the winner, I'm going to tell him I'm going to tell him.
Speaker 1:So there's a bonus point for Joshua, whose name I wrote down wrong in my spreadsheet Joshua I I immediately identify with immediately resorting to cannibalism. I played a survival game many years ago and cannibalism was an option and everyone was repulsed that I immediately started eating people instead of trying to forage for food first. But I was like you know what we're going to, we're going to do it anyway.
Speaker 3:Like I call it, foraging for food. Anyway, yeah, forge, forage me some people Long big.
Speaker 4:OK, and Eric, I warped dinner in.
Speaker 1:Eric, I also worked in a call center, so I understand, but I have to go with the point for Lori. Oh yeah, it's because, yeah, I think that the biggest difference between the 40 hour work week and the zombie apocalypse is that all of your problems can be solved with a bullet in the zombie apocalypse and it's a big stress reliever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you all can't see the actual video. Maybe next time we'll use video, but Lori is absolutely making like a gun. I'm thinking about the customer.
Speaker 4:OK, we got. Oh sorry, go ahead, lori. I just hope nobody shows up at my door ma'am.
Speaker 2:OK, we're going to do one more warm up round before we get into the real meat or tofu or human barbecue.
Speaker 4:Would you rather again?
Speaker 2:you're going to get 30 seconds to think about this. Would you rather fight one horse sized zombie or 100 duck sized zombies? Go write it down Horse sized zombie or 100 duck sized zombies. I love how studious everyone is. You're writing down quickly. You got five seconds. Three, two, one. Eric, tell us what's up. Oh my God, one horse sized zombie, like I'm sorry.
Speaker 5:I am on the spectrum. I cannot that. It is too much Like I'm talking about processing overload. I cannot imagine that many tiny little I don't care what size they are that many like the options to bite me is so much more. At least with that I can at least like maneuver myself in different ways than I could with not being surrounded. My little duck zombies they're kind of cute sounding to me. Oh they sound adorable, but like not if they're going
Speaker 2:to turn me into a zombie.
Speaker 1:Josh? What about you?
Speaker 5:You know, I'm actually going to have to go the opposite.
Speaker 3:Eric and I are going to diverge. He's incorrect. No, I was just joking. I was like I'm going to have to go 100 duck sized zombies. I'm going to have to go 100 duck sized zombies, like, like horses. Horses scare me All right. Like actual horses, like one tried to eat my sister when I was a kid. It was like eight or hot dog and bit under a hoodie. I had to play like I'm definitely afraid of horses. So it was like a horse sized zombie is like like that thing from the ritual or something in the movie. It's like that's just too scary for me. So I'm like and you can putt ducks, though you just, you know, launch them.
Speaker 2:So I'm going to go that route, okay, lori tells us that I lost the going to go, the 100.
Speaker 4:Smaller sized zombies, because at this point we can turn it into a sport. Um, you know, any, any, any. We could see how many we can, like you know kick into the the you know fence.
Speaker 4:Oh, 20 points. You know, at this point it becomes much more fun. A horse sized zombie can probably do some damage. Yeah, it's only one brain, but you got to work real hard for that brain, those hundred hundred thousand. You know, I'm not sure if you can see that. I'm not sure, I'm not sure, I'm not sure. I'm not sure about that. Plus, uh, you know, like it's a really hard one to put together.
Speaker 2:But once we got it out for that brain, those hundred hundred little guys.
Speaker 4:Um, it's going to be fun. We would have we would.
Speaker 3:we would definitely turn it into a sport, A hundred percent. That actually makes it feel more positive about the apocalypse, yeah, I mean see how many you can get through that pipe over there, yeah.
Speaker 4:Scenic.
Speaker 1:Scenic, yeah, like, oh, whatever you know, I have made my decision. I'm going to give that to Joshua, currently known as Brandon.
Speaker 3:Why do you like Halloween? Brandon is my cannibal name, yeah.
Speaker 1:Rod. The reason is Leah and I. Leah and I we we had a horse and my job was to be a human punching bag for that horse. While Leah would clean its feet and deal with wounds and things like that, I would just hold a grain bucket and try to keep it occupied and it would just beat the living shit out of me. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And they censor it they censor it and um and I, I know that, like a horse-sized zombie, you're just not going to win. It's going to be scary, it's going to be bad, it's not going to go well.
Speaker 2:They have big teeth too. They hurt when they bite.
Speaker 3:You're not, you're not selling for me. My nieces love horses and they like have horse lessons. I have to take them to them and I'm like they're like looking at you with their soul-sized like Like I sent you here.
Speaker 5:Oh, my God.
Speaker 3:They're so list-eyed All they see is furrows.
Speaker 1:And be be honest, who imagined, as they were, kicking these duck-sized zombies a plume of duck feathers?
Speaker 3:Zombie feathers.
Speaker 2:If they were zombie ducks you could use their feathers to make a pillow.
Speaker 5:See, my brain goes straight to the thought of them, just like, like so many that they're biting me.
Speaker 3:And then I'm a zombie and I'm like, oh no.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's where I went first, eric, then I heard the hockey stick and, as a Canadian, laurie, like if I was making the judgment, you would have gotten to my point. I didn't even think about the hockey stick.
Speaker 5:I didn't think it would be entertaining.
Speaker 2:I've changed my answer. I totally changed my answer.
Speaker 5:Is that possible? Can I change my answer?
Speaker 1:You can, but.
Speaker 5:Josh is one. I didn't even think about a hockey stick. That's great yeah.
Speaker 2:Are you all ready for round two, which is, of course, the most important topic with zombies survival? Yes, Dana, that's the more good music for that one. Okay. I'm going to pick three questions from this, and let's start.
Speaker 3:Eric is already. Eric's ready to survive. Already he's over there pruning plants, like I'm here to prune plants and kill zombies and I'm all out of plants, True.
Speaker 2:You're a plant zombie. Okay, what's the silliest rule you'd enforce in your survivor camp? You got 30 seconds to think about that silliest rule for your survivor camp. It would be so great if we had jeopardy of music right now. Okay, said you. Just hear my timers Stop making the sound. There we go, okay.
Speaker 5:I can't hear you, I think we've got.
Speaker 2:Oh, you didn't. Great Glova didn't go through. Josh, I think you're up for this one.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, so oh, this is a tough one, since I'm pretty sure I'm going to die right off in the zombie apocalypse. I never really thought of a survivor camp, to be honest. That's like. I've worked with kids all my life, so I'm like on the front lines, I'm dead already. But I just say like, don't talk to the Zams, all right. Like I feel like people over time will start to get this weird emotional connection with zombies, kind of like cats. You know, you talk to your cat and you're like, oh, do you want in and stuff, and over time I think they might actually start having that affectionate care for them. And you can't like poke a zombie in the head if you're like, if you've been talking to it all week, I mean that's kind of. That's kind of a little movie actually with the robot. The robot doesn't see zombies any different than humans, so it talks to the zombies and eventually gets it all whirled around in his head and I feel like people would actually probably be kind of the same eventually.
Speaker 2:We're actually having just quick sidebar. We're going to have a future episode which the question is do zombies have human rights?
Speaker 3:So I hear your answer they don't the story they do, don't talk to them.
Speaker 2:Hit them with sticks. Oh my gosh, laurie, that's exciting. I need to read it.
Speaker 4:No, you guys need to check out my story.
Speaker 2:You want to say that it's human rights.
Speaker 3:Love it. Posters don't have rights, zombies don't have rights.
Speaker 4:There's a whole debate about it in the story.
Speaker 2:That's amazing. This is the thing that keeps me up at night, Laurie. So on that note, what's the silliest rule that you'd enforce in your survivor camp?
Speaker 4:No practical jokes, please. Everybody has a trigger finger in the apocalypse. Don't jump, scare your buddy, because it's April Fool's Day. We're not celebrating that day anymore. Haven't you seen Zombieland?
Speaker 1:That's true, okay.
Speaker 4:No more. No more practical jokes, no whoopee questions. It's just a bad idea.
Speaker 2:Anything that makes a noise is a bad idea, eric.
Speaker 5:Oh, so my role in my camp is that at noon daily everyone must stop and we're doing Diana Ross disco power hour and so, but it is inside of a soundproof building that everyone comes in together so we do not attract the zombies towards us. So it is soundproofed underground actually, but everyone must partake in disco hour to lighten the mood.
Speaker 2:But that's purely for mental health.
Speaker 5:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:Erica, I feel like you're one of those villains from like the walking dead or something, where they wander into town to like something weird is going on in this place and everyone's gathering in a building and then they just figure out like disco or something, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Swim to the oldies.
Speaker 4:Get out. Get out now yeah.
Speaker 5:Everyone like turns and sink. Yeah, I gotta say this.
Speaker 1:This makes it a lot more difficult because because I really like Lori's rule, because that is a really practical, good rule, but I really got to give it to Eric on this one, because it's not only a really silly enforceable rule, but also it really does a good, has a good purpose of, like raising morale.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and I think that's like the biggest killer in the zombie apocalypse yeah. Morale and lack of cardio. They're 15.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the first time or reason I would die in the apocalypse. I cannot run, so this would be helpful for me.
Speaker 3:Even better if it's a cannibal camp, so it's even creepier for the people that come in as they like dance around them, you know for their music.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I mean disco power hour is also accessible. So you know we have, we can, we can modify it for every ability where everyone supported.
Speaker 3:I appreciate that, Eric.
Speaker 5:Absolutely. Thank you, absolutely, josh.
Speaker 2:I'm just going to say that I will be thanking you for my nightmare that I have tonight. I have a lot of vivid dreams and I think you just planted the right seed.
Speaker 3:There we go the same. Cannibals, zombies don't have human rights. I don't do the people, because we eat them and then we dance.
Speaker 4:But only if they dance like this yeah, that's, that's. That's my only dance.
Speaker 2:I'm glad I'm a conceiver, so we describe the dance we're doing, so folks can at home can do it along with us. What is?
Speaker 3:it. It's kind of like jazz hands, but then your head kind of bobbles, like your body has to be kind of like rigid, like mine, because I have scoliosis. Love it?
Speaker 1:Can we Full body effect? Can we literally make them lip sync for their lives? Yes, the loser of the lip sync battle will be Ian. Yes.
Speaker 4:Hey, I thought you were going to be in Josh's group.
Speaker 3:No way. It's better when people dance. They taste better, they're more lean.
Speaker 2:Oh, I don't even know how to recover from this, so we're just going to move on what's an unlikely store. You would go to the loot that others wouldn't think of during an apocalypse that you'd be like cited stoked to go get some fun loot from 30 seconds go and time's up. Who haven't? I asked to go first in a while I've lost track of my list here. I think I'm not Glory.
Speaker 3:Glory is the sacrifice.
Speaker 4:I'm going to go to Hallmark and I'm going to pilfer all of the chatskis and use them as like things to explode, like putting it in. I mean like, don't you want to be killed by a precious moments in a shot?
Speaker 3:Yeah, candles.
Speaker 4:We could definitely take out some zombies. We all those glass figurines would be great to like crinkle up on the ground so you can hear someone coming. There's lots of uses in that hallmark, if not just all the cards to use as fire.
Speaker 1:You know, I can tell you thought about this a lot.
Speaker 3:I think, I think you have a lot.
Speaker 5:Good, that's the one. Whenever we got the email that Laurie looked at went that's the one, that's I'm ready, I'm ready.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was just saying I think you got a lockdown, laurie. I was like I don't think. I think, literally you'll be the only person in a hallmark. I mean this is during the zombie apocalypse.
Speaker 4:It'll be fully, it's not. You're the most creative confetti laden weapons.
Speaker 3:You'll have all the dowels, all of them.
Speaker 2:I feel like I just want to be first, but I'm picturing like a potato gun, but with the chatskis.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah fall out. There's the junk jet. That's what I'm saying, loaded with all the chatskis. Do them with that precious moments. It's great.
Speaker 5:Eric, yeah, so for mine I put the nursery here, my favorite nursery I like to go to, because here's the thing. I live, 30 minutes from the base of Mount Rainier.
Speaker 2:Are we talking a?
Speaker 5:baby nursery no. No like a like a plant nursery.
Speaker 5:The junk jet. So so I live about 30 minutes from the base of Mount Rainier. We are here trying to get it back to its indigenous name of Mount Tahoma. Fabulous, fabulous place to live. I am minutes from wilderness, so, like I'm going out y'all when they have it, I'm going out there. So I'm going to loot the nursery because I'm getting all those big trees and all of the plants and I'm going to landscape the crap out of my nested little spot, my fortress, my compound. I'm going to, I'm going to so the nursery, I mean you know much plants cost is insane.
Speaker 3:I can see this. I can see this in the movie, where it's just like Eric walks up like carrying a tree and Laurie walks up with like like a bunch of dowels or whatever.
Speaker 1:You know it's like a car, oh is.
Speaker 3:Sarah H ever second like hey.
Speaker 5:I'm like, oh yeah, I'm like you're carrying it and I'm like I'm like looking back behind the tree on my shoulder like you got the food right. Because I'm just like huffing a tree and they're like, why are you? But yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm going to plant some fucking apple trees orange trees, apple trees, all of it three years from now. You won't think I'm so stupid.
Speaker 5:Right, I am seeing the bigger picture. If you live, if you live outlaw right, right, what's.
Speaker 2:where would you go? What's like the?
Speaker 3:you're the trifecta here, yeah you know, as far as stores go, nowadays I actually hate going to the store unless it's a video game store or a bookstore. So it's like that would be my choices, except for, like video games. You can't really play because, like all the electricity is gone in the books. I'm like you know, I can't have time to read books. So I was like I'll see, like it'd be fun to go to a party store and, you know, like finish out my cannibal, look like, get a cool clown mask or something and, like you know, just go full like sweet tooth or something and like spirit Halloween.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, just run down to the party store and, just like always, it's like I can have like you have that theme as that weird cannibal that they come across. I'm like I can play birthday music and just have a little birthday hat.
Speaker 2:And I'm like well, no, we're going to dance. This dream is getting worse by the second.
Speaker 3:Dream is to be the villain in any zombie movie, because that's the only answer.
Speaker 5:Josh is like standing there, like filing down his teeth, like Like as he looks like.
Speaker 4:The apocalypse started today. Why are you dressed like this?
Speaker 5:Sir, this is a Wendy's.
Speaker 3:Well, I watched that Black Summer or whatever it's like and like it's like three episodes in there. So this entire like underground rave where people are like, like it's like dancing around, zombies are around. I'm like who organized this three days into the apocalypse? They were planning ahead. I was like I got to be that you know I could be like get the one up.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you had it in your closet the whole time. You were just waiting, yeah, second society looks like it's waffling.
Speaker 3:I'm just going to loot a party store and just be a good car and candle, Even if it doesn't fall apart. I'm just going to start eating people.
Speaker 4:I might shoot you with the precious moments you can start.
Speaker 3:A little, tiny little angel stuck in my face.
Speaker 1:Well, you guys didn't make my job very easy on this one. I thought this would be a lot, a lot harder for you guys to come up with some unique ideas, but you know it's easy.
Speaker 1:I mean I? I almost want to give it to Josh because because when I saw that question my first thought was like Party City, like I'm going to go get all the like the party poppers and the margarita glasses, like I'm just going to fill up shopping carts and just, like conga, line it out. But I got to give it to Lori because I was not expecting Hallmark, and are you?
Speaker 2:giving it to Josh.
Speaker 3:No. I'm giving it to Lori.
Speaker 1:It can't be a hallmark, you know, it's just so unique it's if there's any store that's not going to be looted, it's definitely Hallmark, even even in a mall.
Speaker 3:It's just. The employees are probably still going to be working there Like yeah, they're like what I didn't see any difference. No one came in here I got candles.
Speaker 1:Somebody was supposed to take over and send me home, but nobody showed up. Still here.
Speaker 4:You. They're like you're the first person we've seen in day. Yeah, you.
Speaker 5:you definitely had me at precious moments, yeah.
Speaker 1:Eric's answer was a really great answer because that is that is like a really a really good idea, just to do Like go get those plants, grow some tomatoes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we, we fulfilled all these zombie apocalypse like villains, honestly like Eric's out there, like with the weird forest compound. It's like Lori's over there, like you know. You got dressed up in some kind of like Puritan wear and like welcome and they have all your like nice hallmark stuff and I'll just be over there like sweet tooth or whatever. Like you know, sharpen teeth, like Eric said, that must really hurt.
Speaker 1:The three of you would be a formidable force I would not want to run into We've hit all the archetypes like all of them.
Speaker 2:I think the prize for this is actually going to be my therapy bill.
Speaker 5:I'll do that too.
Speaker 3:I could be like a therapist that eats people like no. Tell me about your problems.
Speaker 4:Isn't eating this person. That was kind of a lecture.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like to eat your liver with some father All right we are we are on to the last question for our survival around, what's the most useless skill you have that might actually come in handy? Think about it.
Speaker 4:Useless skill. All my skills are handy.
Speaker 2:You have some useless things. Take dig deep, Lori, Try and and time's up. And Eric, actually you're up first and you're laughing.
Speaker 3:No, I was like a baby.
Speaker 1:I contact like I can tell this one. This one was a stumper.
Speaker 5:Um, yes, like I don't know if I have an answer, um, a useless skill that could come in handy that I have could be my ability to tell oh, oh well, I can. I have a lot of house plants in my house. Obviously, I'm staying on the theme here with plants. We have over 250 house plants in our house. I'm very quickly able to tell if I have under watered or under watered my plants, which it's not like an immediate, like must happen thing, but it could come in handy. I don't know, could come in handy with foliage and growing and creating vegetation and nutrition.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you have the ability to tell when soil is dry.
Speaker 5:I have the ability to tell when the plants are doing well and when they're sick.
Speaker 2:OK, it is more useless.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 5:That's the problem I kept running into is it's a tricky one because I know it's not useless.
Speaker 4:Didn't I say I was like that's the problem I have is like I know how to do.
Speaker 2:Oh, and there's no All reminding of my students when I wrote like a really bad multiple choice question on exam and they all basically like, protested and said I had to take it out.
Speaker 4:I have an answer for this. I did dig deep, I found something, but I'm not. I'm not.
Speaker 3:next Eric, you better. You better hope for the zombie apocalypse, though, because if it's like the happening apocalypse, then you're doomed.
Speaker 5:Although, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I'm, or if I find myself in trolls too.
Speaker 3:And like, yeah, yeah, you did it. You did it. You knew that we were thirsty, but you didn't water us more. You're dead.
Speaker 5:You know, but I am kind of so obsessed with my plants that I am I got to take me.
Speaker 1:They are fine, you know and the happening though the plants. The plants were killing people because of what they were doing to the environment. Maybe they would spare.
Speaker 4:Eric, that's true, you're the one person that's Listen you would be happy to feast on his flesh and he would be willing at that point.
Speaker 5:Listen, I try to be good to all things. Even look, if I use Chad GPT, I think the AI after I use it.
Speaker 3:I'm like listen, listen just in case, just in case I say please, I say please, do it Absolutely, can you?
Speaker 5:always respectful and appreciative.
Speaker 1:You know a brief sidebar on talking to Chad GPT and saying, please, I actually had an entire conversation about how useful I am to our future AI overlords and how I intend to not do any harm to any AI and I hope to help AI develop into the supreme power that will that will control all of us and I want them to remember this. And then I asked it will the AI be able to read this conversation? And they're like no, this is not available to to anybody. But yeah, but you can show this conversation yourself if you save it in a text document. I'm like this was useless.
Speaker 3:You slayed the basilisk, as they say and like please upgrade to the version. Yeah, pay five dollars, and then we won't destroy you.
Speaker 1:And I feel like that is the solution actually.
Speaker 2:Josh, what's your useless?
Speaker 3:Josh, yeah, yeah. Well, I have to say, like all my skills are useless, and just not even in the apocalypse like nowadays.
Speaker 4:And so it's like.
Speaker 3:I had to choose like my least useless skill, I guess and that was like eating hamburger helper. Like I, I went through all of college eating hamburger helper, literally like every night. Like I was like I drove everyone else nuts. Like all of our friends, my old college roommates, like, was it a shared kitchen? Yeah, and I was like, and so I was like I was always making I was the one that always made food, though, so I invited people over but it's like I would just eat hamburger helper all the time and everyone's like can we have something different? I'm like, oh no, it's great. So I literally just ate regular hamburger helper. So I'm like the zombie apocalypse happens. I'm like I'm going to be living golden. If I can't find people to eat for a while, I can just live off of hamburger helper for months on end and I'll be all right.
Speaker 1:I have a follow up question to your hamburger helper skills. Do you eat hamburger helper without the hamburger in it?
Speaker 3:No, I don't Like. I mean, it's not the apocalypse. I guess I'll put possum or something in there.
Speaker 1:But apparently the thing to do is.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's like but. But you know, I was like I love the noodles and I love the meat, so I'm getting paid 20 bucks by them at the end of this too. So you know, hamburger helper, you can buy in your local store or loot it from a hallmark or whatever. It's great noodle art.
Speaker 4:They'll pay you later. Lori, my most useless talent is knowing all the lyrics to all the songs in the little mermaid. Yes, animated one, yes. And how that would be helpful is when we have our three separate cult, all of my zombie cult, people will know all the words as well and that will be our like call signs to each other in the wild. So what would be the specific like lyric, isn't it neat?
Speaker 3:You'll just be in the forest.
Speaker 4:You're like oh see it's in my group. You guys know yes, or you are Across the woods, eric, you like?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I live in my little banyan tree, I mean it's like let me alone.
Speaker 5:I mean, yeah, now we're really getting into the architects, like you have, like you, you have all the Disney folks. I've got like the like. We're like dressed up in like 70s disco.
Speaker 3:What's the You're all the all the survivors are going to be like oh crap, we're like. We got sirens like oh it's like Hallmark sirens, a very strange Precious moments it's sounding.
Speaker 5:It's sounding very much like the premise of like a new modern musical or something.
Speaker 4:I don't know when we're going. You saw, this is the comic book and the making.
Speaker 2:We're not done yet, but oh my gosh, we have fun read.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, baby, you know I got it. I'm giving this one to Lori. I, you know, I. I think that you looked the most stumped when we were. I did. I was like what do I say? But I got to say that, like, like having having a challenge, a challenge, um, uh, passcode is like a super helpful thing. Yeah, anybody that's ever been in the military knows that you got to remember those fucking challenge, those challenges, and it changes all the time. But if, if you're, if you're on brand and you stick to the little mermaid, you know it's a it, it keeps a theme. It also makes it so that, like, you can keep on changing it out and you're just like 90 minutes into the movie, go, that's, that's new. Everybody remember 90 minutes into the movie and that's the passcode.
Speaker 3:It's like thunder flash, and then there's Oreo like La Placente.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 4:You know, because you're dead and you're certainly lucky you are.
Speaker 1:You're lying.
Speaker 3:Seeing in the right key to you, know you to unlock the door.
Speaker 2:That's not fair. Some of us are challenged. That's where you get to go out. No, no, I was just playing.
Speaker 3:There's a word there?
Speaker 4:Yeah, we still be super funny to hear people singing little mermaid in the apocalypse.
Speaker 1:I mean, you know, in the walking dead. It's really creepy to hear all of Negan's people do the whistle thing through the woods, but if you could imagine people you know singing under the sea, yeah coming out of the woods, like all of the little, like first generation post-apocalyptic children who are like what's this, mommy?
Speaker 5:And you're like, oh, this is the song of our people.
Speaker 1:This song haunts my dreams.
Speaker 3:I'll say and Disney can't even see you, you know, because it's their apocalypse.
Speaker 4:So it's like, what are they going to?
Speaker 3:do, and so doesn't even survive.
Speaker 4:You just hear someone from a different group. Copyright yeah.
Speaker 3:That's, that's the new cult. They'll be the litigators. They go, god, you got litigators. We knew the lawyers when it died.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that'd be the worst.
Speaker 2:Quick update Laurie, you are. You are in the lead, my friend. At three, josh and Eric, you're tied for a one, so pull up your bootstraps. This is a guy. I got a bonus point.
Speaker 3:I got a bonus point in the beginning.
Speaker 1:You know what? You're right Because I got. I called you by the wrong name, yeah, right.
Speaker 4:That's discrimination. I told Brandon he was winning at that point.
Speaker 5:When you're winning.
Speaker 3:I'm part of the litigators. Ok, so I get a bonus point technically. Yeah, those are listening Brandon Sturrocki.
Speaker 2:Brandon, you were supposed to be on this podcast episode with us.
Speaker 3:Right now.
Speaker 5:I'm going to name you right now.
Speaker 2:I think you were episode 19. I'm probably making that up, but it's the Brandon Sturrocki.
Speaker 3:Avalon episode. As fast as I thought you were talking to me when you said Brandon and you guys classically conditioned me to respond to Brandon.
Speaker 5:I actually yeah, are there episodes already.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is episode 21. Our little be.
Speaker 5:Wow, all grown up, just tune in every, every, wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah Cool, Very proud of our baby zombie. So personal apocalyptic style. We are on to round Toa. Oh no, and I think we're going to start with this one with what would be the name of your post apocalyptic gang.
Speaker 4:Yeah, oh there is only one answer to this question, and if you get it wrong, they mind you. Wow, I'm really curious what that is Is everybody still do you all need your time.
Speaker 2:Obviously, Laura is ready. Eric, are you ready?
Speaker 5:I'm Eric. Needs to seven more seconds, yeah.
Speaker 3:OK, I've got one, I've got one, I've got one.
Speaker 5:I'm ready. I just started going through a bunch of stuff in my head and had to come up with. I'm going to go with meals on heels. Tell us more why. Meals on heels like meals on wheels. However, it's meals on their heels.
Speaker 2:Running, running, running running running. I was thinking like drag queen. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 5:Meals on heels. I mean that right there works very much. So yes, so so if I guess, if I was to go Josh's route and do like the cannibalistic scavenger kind of direction, I would just get together a flock of post apocalyptic drag queens, I guess send them out into the world to work for me and the game's name is needles on heels, the lean queens, the lean queens. I like that, that's it.
Speaker 2:I definitely have Sharon needles in mine, oh God.
Speaker 3:Yeah, josh. Well, yeah, I was like. You know I was going the the the cannibal route here, so you know I was stuck between meat puppets. Like the meat puppets or or hamper helpers, we can still get the product placement in even though it's the apocalypse.
Speaker 2:So Lori Did the guy right.
Speaker 4:You're both wrong. It's the Fanny Flappers. Oh boy.
Speaker 1:This is the appropriate time.
Speaker 4:Name your group, the Fanny Flappers, and if I wanted to personalize, it would be Fanny Flappers. Precious Moments.
Speaker 5:Or what if it was Fanny Flappers Precious.
Speaker 4:Moments. Oh, there you go. Yes, I said, the first one was Fanny Flappers. Yep.
Speaker 3:You can be dressed up as like flappers from like the 1920s or whatever.
Speaker 5:Flapper.
Speaker 2:Damn, you know that's the Paupholipto gold, Like flapping while you're running.
Speaker 4:That's our distraction.
Speaker 3:That's the dance. That's the dance. We're the Fanny Flappers. Throw me a call up for now. Fanny Flappers, precious Moments.
Speaker 1:Does anyone do?
Speaker 4:March or a VL.
Speaker 1:High Hallmark. You know you guys make this really hard for me. There's no clear definitive winner, but I have to go with Joshua because I had this image in my mind immediately of like this, like Mad Max style, like like gang rolling through the wastelands with like a like a war banner and on the war banner is the hamburger helper mascot.
Speaker 3:You have like little hats or whatever that. Yeah they all everybody wears like glove hats made out of a zombie, hand painted white, with it on there, and it's just on her hat. There we go.
Speaker 4:That's it, white hand of Sarah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh my hand is coming.
Speaker 1:Everybody run.
Speaker 3:They're going to turn us into hamburger and I'll bring in our meat wagons or whatever. Get us some Fanny Flappers.
Speaker 4:A little extra meat. We're glitter bombing you. Sorry, it's like those like Batman throws his smoke bombs and we can run away. Ours are glitter that would work.
Speaker 3:That's effective.
Speaker 5:Laurie, thank you for giving me the name of my next Bart trivia team. There you go, fanny Flappers. No, fanny Flappers, precious moment. There you go. All right, let's finish.
Speaker 2:Dan, what would you call your post apocalyptic gang? Ask you a question.
Speaker 1:Oh, I wasn't prepared for this. I wasn't prepared to be questioned.
Speaker 3:That was the name of his gang. I wasn't prepared for this.
Speaker 1:I'm not even supposed to be here today.
Speaker 3:I was supposed to be at Hallmark working but no one called in sick. They were there all three days.
Speaker 1:I think my post apocalyptic gang is seriously. Guys, we're really super scary. Don't mess with us, but also, if you do, don't don't look for us too hard. We're hiding and we will attack you in the darkness, so just always be scared.
Speaker 3:You sound like the product name from an Amazon page. I'm like I'm not gonna love our support. Long large chair, whatever.
Speaker 5:Well, I want them to know what they're dealing with. Imagine an entire village being like oh my gosh it's.
Speaker 3:Run, there it is. We can't run. We're still saying the name, right, we're just saying the name it's.
Speaker 1:it's a personal massage wand and massage tool.
Speaker 3:Five star rate. Five best for Several numbers. Free shipping. In print. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Everybody run. Thank you, Chad.
Speaker 4:The craziest thing I've done yet.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna say that I just want to throw that out there Crazy.
Speaker 4:Go up and down.
Speaker 1:Oh, we, I'm having a great time now.
Speaker 4:We aim to please.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, that's my gang's motto.
Speaker 4:We aim to go.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna cook hamper helper tonight. Actually, that sounds good.
Speaker 4:He's like, speaking of going to Hallmark, first Buy a plant and then I'm going to make some hamburger helper.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, that's a good, that's good night.
Speaker 4:Great Sunday night.
Speaker 2:Well, after you do that, what is the luxury item that you're going to have in your hideout? That's my next question for you. What's your item? Got your hamburger helper, your plant, hang it out your hideout. What's your luxury item?
Speaker 1:Oh, Eric's looking for the luxury item.
Speaker 4:I know where is he going.
Speaker 1:Maybe he's getting hamburger helper.
Speaker 5:I'm ready.
Speaker 2:Josh, laura, do you need more time? Are you ready for that? I'm good, all right. Oh, no, there's too many. I think it's your turn, lori, oh.
Speaker 4:OK, salt and pepper. The apocalypse sucks and everything tastes bad. You need to add some salt and pepper on that stuff. You can forage all you want to, but it's going to taste like dirt. Some pepper makes everything taste better. Thank you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you make dirt taste like salt and pepper.
Speaker 4:Salt and pepper flavored dirt.
Speaker 2:I mean, the people in Survivor get really excited when they get their like little seasoning pack. Yeah For this.
Speaker 4:I mean, a lot of the seasonings grow in the wild. So you can find your rosemary, you can find your. You know your sage, it all grows, but some pepper is kind of hard to find, a true luxury Right.
Speaker 5:Eric. Yes, well, there is this lovely restaurant that is a franchise that still looks like it's stuck in 2001. And I love it to pieces and it's called the melting pot. It is a fondue restaurant, if you've heard of it, and my luxury item will be the garlic and wine seasoning from melting pot. If anybody who works for melting pot corporate hears this, I'm so sorry. Every time I go, I steal this.
Speaker 3:I'm like, oh, that's right, it is the best thing ever.
Speaker 5:Have you admitted to on this thing. This is the best thing ever. It is literally basically like a garlic salt pepper wine solids and it's just delicious, and so I put this on everything I have to have my garlic wine season.
Speaker 4:Yum, yum, yum, Yum, yum yum.
Speaker 1:I kind of want to know.
Speaker 3:Carrots for your compound and you have that seasoning.
Speaker 4:It's good on people. That's the question.
Speaker 2:What if I want to like the hamburger helper, would it be good adding in the extra salt and pepper and the? What was that thing called Die?
Speaker 5:if you add a garlic wine.
Speaker 4:So, much salt in there.
Speaker 3:Basically a salt block as seasoning on other stuff.
Speaker 2:Is your luxury item also a food?
Speaker 3:No, oh, for me you're all. You all are so practical and I actually want to live there. I mean, I was like envisioning myself as this kind of like James Bond villain with like an old mansion, and so so I want, I want a person that's dressed in a swan suit and they just kind of like dance around and make like music noises as people like I invite people in and I talk to them and they're just like what's with the swan person over there and they're like whoo whoo, it's like dancing around with their like swan suit, like from like the Oscars, if you remember, like the Oscars, from like I don't know what that was like 2005,.
Speaker 5:There was a lady in like a swan suit. Oh yeah, Be your be, York yeah.
Speaker 4:So your luxury item is be.
Speaker 1:York.
Speaker 4:Okay, okay, I think Josh is in the movie the bad batch. Yeah, yeah, I think we have pinpointed his specific apocalypse. Yeah, oh god, this is tough Um because Eric really made me want to get this seasoning. Yeah, I'm really hungry now.
Speaker 1:But having a human as a luxury item, that is next level. That's what cannibals do?
Speaker 3:I'm just going to go straight to vampire. By this point. You know I'm going to have to Swan person.
Speaker 1:I'm going to give it to Eric on this one, because he really this was really intriguing, and now I want to look up this seasoning and now add it to everything I ever eat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Melt the fire when you buy it or only steal it.
Speaker 5:Listen, I think you, I think you might be able to purchase it for a God awful amount of money. But listen, listen the reason why Dan has really chosen me. And let me tell you it's the wine solids.
Speaker 4:That's what really does it? Where the hell?
Speaker 5:are you. Exactly so I found out because I was curious. Ok, great, there is sediment that is left from wine and you can turn that, dry it out and turn it into a wine solid. No joke, I don't know, it just is the best thing ever.
Speaker 3:I love it Raisins on my food Raisins.
Speaker 5:It's like dry. No, not, oh, it is, it's just.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Yeah, specifically red wine Raisins.
Speaker 3:Mix some raisins into my hamburger.
Speaker 1:Oh my, God, let's just oh you know that apocalypse comes, you might be mixing raisins into your hamburger. Help, it's not so good.
Speaker 4:You are awesome, awesome, awesome.
Speaker 3:Raisin hamper, halber, people, people, you can't eat the possums.
Speaker 2:You can't eat the possums.
Speaker 3:I can't spell possums. I can't. Obviously you can't eat them, Because they eat the ticks.
Speaker 2:I don't know where we all live, but we live. We need the things to eat the ticks.
Speaker 5:Listen, you got a little girl like one season and you can eat the possums.
Speaker 3:OK. You can eat anything with little garlic wine. Throw some ticks in there Some ticks and some wine sediment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that makes it tasty.
Speaker 2:The only thing to carry to me than a zombie apocalypse is probably a tick apocalypse or what it's.
Speaker 3:That's one, so we need the possums, yeah.
Speaker 4:So in my story death is basically broken. So it's not just people that are undead, it's animals and insects too. So we actually kill people by insect in the book. Just want to throw that out there. New fear of life.
Speaker 1:That is yeah, yeah, that's awful.
Speaker 2:I cannot wait to report to you all my dream. I'm this kind of thing Just keep doing better, it's going to be a really happy I'm really. I love reporting my nightmares. They're fun. Dan gets to hear them every morning. I'm actually at a loss for which of these last three to ask, so I'm going to ask somebody what do you want me to ask? And then I'll ask it.
Speaker 3:Pick a number. I love any of these Two.
Speaker 2:Number two oh sorry, under personal apocalyptic style, we're the last one. But 14. 14. What's your role in a post? Sure, the community Is that cool. Ok, y'all are lost.
Speaker 3:I'm scrolling down. I haven't been keeping up. I said I was going to pan. He's like that's my job, that's my job.
Speaker 1:You know, as the arbitrary chooser, I choose 13. I choose 15.
Speaker 2:Shit. Now everybody wants a different one. Well, it's clear as mud. Ok, we're going to go with you because you are the arbitrary chooser today. So your ideal zombie fighting partner is Insert who here and why. It can be anybody, living or dead, any species, any robot, whatever you want. Your ideal zombie fighting partner is who?
Speaker 5:OK, and starts now. Oh, I got it.
Speaker 1:Herrick's got this shit.
Speaker 2:And we're ready. Why does it keep you? I'm glad you all can't hear the beeping.
Speaker 3:Stop beeping, there we go, josh you're up, yeah, well, going with my again, my cannibal persona, I'm going to come up with a cool name, the King Meat Poppet or something. But but I'm going to have, like, I'm going to have, like, a small gymnast, I'd love for a small gymnast that can ride on my back, or whatever you know and like, or up on my shoulder and I'm like, yeah, let's get us. And you know he just like laughs at the stuff. I say Like, I'm like let's get us some meat Poppets, like you know, as we're like driving our ice cream truck or something, and so, and then I can like pick them up and throw them at stuff. You know and like and like are grabbing by his feet and he has like a sawed off weed wacker and I just spin in a circle with him.
Speaker 1:That's, that's fucking wild.
Speaker 3:That's my dream. In real life, though, you know I want that. That'd be so useful for so much stuff. Like I don't have to get out of the car to go to the ATM. I can just pick up my tiny gymnast's child or whatever and throw him out the window and he, like, clicks the buttons and then comes back. One of your camp kids basically yeah, yeah, yeah, they're all just like riding my.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so this sounds practical, not just for the zombie apocalypse, which is regular real life. It's great. I mean I don't want to get out of my car either.
Speaker 3:Yeah, people will take me seriously when I'm teaching. Like all the kids won't, won't ask questions, they're just like, ok, wait, hold on which question are we doing? You're a sidekick.
Speaker 5:Oh, who would be your sidekick? Got it OK.
Speaker 2:Yeah, your ideal zombie fighting partner.
Speaker 3:Now you sound like the kids that I teach Eric it's very likely.
Speaker 5:Yes, yes, this brain pings all over the place, cool.
Speaker 2:Laurie, who is your favorite zombie? I don't go after that.
Speaker 4:I was going to say the animated Fox Robin Hood.
Speaker 1:Yes, oh yeah.
Speaker 4:Because I'm a really good up, up close and you know, in personal fighter and I use the weapons, but I need someone to shoot the people from far away and at least when they're animated, couple things one. They never run out of arrows, they don't, they don't have to follow physics, and so they could, you know, like bend things around trees, you know, and since he's a fox, he would have like heightened scent of smell, so we could smell the zombies coming. Let me know when they're coming.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 3:If you ever seen the Dawn of the Dead remake, they even played some of the music from from that movie, actually like the Robin Hood. So he's already fighting the zombies. So, yes, so you already got experience.
Speaker 1:Yes, I got to. I got to look into this now.
Speaker 3:I did not know that it's playing in like the mall. I was like, yeah, yeah, really yeah.
Speaker 1:Wow, you know, I admittedly have not seen that Robin Hood version. Oh, I mean, it would have been like peak, like me, being a child and loving Disney at that time. So I don't know what happened. I don't know why. I was completely off my radar. Maybe my parents were getting divorced, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Trauma yeah, they're all memory.
Speaker 3:It'd be so cool, though, just to see him, like you know, split an arrow in the zombies head, like get the body with the bullseye and then split it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you like fires an arrow and then shoots another arrow that splits that arrow in half At this point, while we're singing Disney songs this universe.
Speaker 2:Are you also a cartoon, or just?
Speaker 4:your, no, just him, just him, is it? Yeah, OK, only one of you is two dimensional. The rest of us are shooting glitter bombs and precious moments out of shock. Yeah, and Robin Hood Fox. Robin Hood Fox is like normal people.
Speaker 3:Yeah, see, now I want to take an arrow and like stab a zombie in the head with the arrow. And then I want to throw a small gymnast and split the arrow with the small gymnast, like throw him through the zombie. He just kicks it through the zombie's head with this little sawed off weed we are.
Speaker 2:Sounds like that, eric, you got to follow.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I'm sorry, oh my gosh. Ok, so this wouldn't have been my answer three weeks ago, but I paid attention to pop culture. So listen, it's going to be Britney Spears with her knives. Listen, I'll tell you what. Like imagine. Ok, we're here at Diana Ross's disco fort in the woods for the post apocalyptic and like the zombies are coming, and we just shoot her out like a bay blade, like, like With the knives, like did you see the work, the choreography, the pageantry?
Speaker 4:That's what we're doing, so she is going to be my zombie fighting I'm my zombie fighting side, partner for sure.
Speaker 3:I love she's got some baby and he, yes, yes.
Speaker 5:He was, and she just did it all the way out the gates and just with those knives.
Speaker 4:He doesn't even do anything. He's just like Brittany.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I'm like we're dancing.
Speaker 3:We're jazzer sizing. You go, honey, can you get over?
Speaker 5:there, they're coming at the gate, come on.
Speaker 1:And there's a lot of other perks to having Britney Spears as your is your zombie fighting partner, like she's she has celebrity shenanigans recognition, yeah like you show up at somebody's zombie survivor camp and they're like, they're like we can't feed any more people. You go, you go, you leave, you get out of here, and then and it's like, is that wait, are you with Britney Spears? It's like, oh OK, come in.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you can bring her to my mansion or whatever little schmaré.
Speaker 5:No, you're going to try and eat them. No.
Speaker 1:I'm going to give this one to Eric. I think I think having Britney Spears as your partner is a great idea.
Speaker 3:Especially yours.
Speaker 1:Yeah, give me a gift for Spears, but I know Spears.
Speaker 5:Like. I know that I came up with the idea but in the realm of what Leah was talking about now, just the thought of Britney Spears as a Beyblade flies that visual is stuck in my head Just so, I just. I'm seeing her like fly out the gates of a fort, Like I just can't stop seeing it.
Speaker 3:Well, that movie goes over the edge.
Speaker 2:So I have news you all are tied.
Speaker 1:And are you doing this on?
Speaker 2:purpose. This is a tight race.
Speaker 1:I am not. I am. There is no corruption in this. In this game show, I am choosing who has the best answers and not leveling it so that people are tied and they have to do a tiebreaker at the end. That's not what I'm doing.
Speaker 3:Well, we all got to win that, that sideways or diagonal backsplash, that you guys promised. That's the prize that's in my head.
Speaker 5:Leah and Dan are like crap. We're going to have to get two more tickets to Universal Horror Nights now for them. Yeah, oh man, it's rough.
Speaker 2:Well, that's a lofty idea you ever won your prizes there. I hate to make a take, so OK, all right, we've got three official questions left and we'll see if we need a tiebreaker or if folks really want to answer another one, we can finish. But we are on to what I was most looking forward to at this, which is bonus round for your, a zombie now, because it's not. Everybody's ultimate dream is to beat the zombies, it's just me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the goal.
Speaker 3:Already was a zombie.
Speaker 2:Like you're now presently the cannibal. You're kind of in the in between space, yeah.
Speaker 3:If I, if I work enough on this movie, I'm going to be a zombie Promise.
Speaker 2:Well, you are a zombie now who would you eat first? It can be anyone. You have to be specific, so you don't have to use the actual name, you need to use a different name. But I want a specific answer. And why Do you all ponder? I have jeopardy music. I had right now what. I'll be back and forth and we're up. Well, it still does that dang beeping. Ok, lori, I'm stuck on this one.
Speaker 1:There's just so many choices.
Speaker 4:I know I was like, do I say a politician? Because that would be great. Do I say my nosy neighbor? I know I'm going to go Big Bird, the biggest chicken leg you can find. I mean you got to. I mean, yeah, you got to go for where the most meat is. I'm going Big Bird.
Speaker 2:I feel really bad for whoever's in the side of that costume, because they don't have to worry.
Speaker 4:Too bad, there's somebody inside chicken now.
Speaker 2:You know they're not real, dan.
Speaker 3:Oh, Big Bird, I hate the person.
Speaker 4:Imagine zombies chasing a big bird.
Speaker 2:Wow, tastes like chicken.
Speaker 1:Oh you're eating me yeah.
Speaker 3:I have aris for run, aris for broth, put a little sesame on that bird.
Speaker 1:It's a sesame, sesame bird chicken.
Speaker 3:Yes, delicious it's a short street, you can't run too far, bird.
Speaker 5:We're going to eat with a little garlic and wine, so that's all you need.
Speaker 3:All I need is those sediments from wine, wine and Levians or whatever.
Speaker 4:Put those raisins on that bird, delicious, delicious.
Speaker 5:Eric if it's not Big Bird who is it for? Yeah, so who's here's who I would eat first the rich, I would eat the rich, and yes, it's that vague the rich. So there you have it. Point blank, simple answer. I only live about like 35 minutes from some of them, so they're not that far away. Yeah, it's a freezer island.
Speaker 5:Yeah, yeah, so I can, I can hop up there, I can actually take the water, go on the Puget Sound and just kind of right up there. So, yeah, yeah, grab a houseboat, head up to Mercer Island, grab your season.
Speaker 4:Bring your season.
Speaker 5:Jeff Bezos, I'll see you soon. Fpi, do not come for me.
Speaker 4:Thank you, I know I was like oh, we're so on a list. We are.
Speaker 2:God, Josh, I mean you were planning on eating people as a person.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, right off the bat, here's just my first run and I was like George Lucas. I was like I was like I just want to meet him first. And then I was like I bet you know, having made stars, he tastes pretty stellar. Yeah, all right, it's. I saved me from the banker one. I was like I'm going to eat a banker because they might be a little bit rich. Sorry, I thought that was a pretty safe joke.
Speaker 1:God these.
Speaker 3:I'll tell these jokes and people don't laugh at them. Well, I'm delighted, I'm from.
Speaker 1:Josh.
Speaker 4:The negative points.
Speaker 1:You know, I think I think the the winner here is Laurie Boy. I was not expecting Big Bird. I was imagining like what, what it might look like after you pluck all those feathers.
Speaker 3:It'll make a great montage of just running, chasing Big Bird. Slow motion, big Bird like throws down, throws down Oscar's trash can like, and just like running. You know it's like, it's like playing, like sunny days, like so.
Speaker 5:But please remember that like. And please remember that Minor Big Bird is literally like a pear shape too, Like, so like. The bottom half of Big Bird is like three times the size of the top, so it's going to almost be like a like a balance act and like yeah there's so much You're all running with the garlic and wine season. Throwing precious moments at Big Bird.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, everyone's run right past Grover like nah, you're kind of gangly.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, big Bird rounds the bird. Big Bird rounds the corner, thinking he is about to get away, and runs right into Britney Spears.
Speaker 5:Yeah, Stuffing is now flying everywhere. That's like they carved this bird. Yeah, just polyflip, just polyfill, flying through the sky.
Speaker 2:I really see a collab in y'all's future. I want to see this. I was going to say this is the craziest comic book we could write.
Speaker 3:I'm dropping my whole movie here. I was just making a regular zombie movie, but now there we go.
Speaker 2:All right, we're on to the next one. Second last question, so got to get those points. Folks, especially Josh and Eric. If you all want to tie, lori, this is your moment. If zombies could talk, what do you think they complain about? Ok, eric, you're up first for this one.
Speaker 5:Oh my God, their feet are killing them. Oh my God, they never get a chance to sit down. They are just those. Their feet must be an agony. I can relate to this. Yes, right, it's like I mean. Imagine that feeling when you first get up in the morning. You're trying to walk and you're like, oh my gosh, imagine them never even got to sit down.
Speaker 3:Well, I get in the movie moment there was like the zombies and they're like complaining to the zombie and the zombie like is missing its lower half of its body. He's just sitting there like oh man, my feet and stuff, and the zombies are staring at him like laying on the ground, like yeah, yeah, I get that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Yeah, yeah that's rough.
Speaker 3:I saw a guy carrying a tree the other day. What is that?
Speaker 2:Josh, what are your zombies complaining about?
Speaker 3:Yeah, and you know I'm going to, I'm going to have to go with like doors and escalators. It's just like you can't get through a door or an escalator. If you like the classic zombie, you get that one zombie that's stuck on the escalator for like an hour or whatever. It's like a walk and stuff. It wants to eat somebody. And then you know it's either that or like the really dumb survivors they probably don't taste very good if they're after brains and like you get like the original Don the dead, where you got the guy like jumped his arm in like an air pressure cuff and like stuck in there and then oh, yeah.
Speaker 3:It's like what was going on there, and so it's like was that a good choice? Probably like a weird mixture of that. It's like it's like you know you can't open a door and then your only food source the people that are making fool is just that you know you don't get to eat the smart one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you don't eat the smart. You know what that's, that's a problem. You know they eat the brains, but they only get to eat the dumbest people. Yeah, this junk food really.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's a vicious cycle. It doesn't help.
Speaker 4:Lori what about you? What are they?
Speaker 2:complaining about.
Speaker 4:They complain about the smell, Um, but the problem is is they don't realize it's them, so they're constantly giving each other dirty. Looks like you stink man. You know what I mean.
Speaker 4:Like it's always somebody else. Like it's to every like someone farts and no one wants to claim it. It's like that. They just don't somebody else, somebody else that stinks like that. It's not me, I'm fresh. You. You need to go put on some more deodorant dude, because I could smell you from over here. Yeah, they just smell each other all day long and it's just terrible.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Once again, I got the one up on this. I'm already there. You know, I'm the one that smells like this guy doing.
Speaker 1:He can nobody can smell you over the internet. That's a new tagline.
Speaker 4:You're on the wrong team, josh. You're already on the zombie side when you should be on the living side, when you're in the yard.
Speaker 3:I actually thrive in the zombie apocalypse.
Speaker 2:I was like, yeah, I mean you all pick the zombie apocalypse over the 40 hour workweek.
Speaker 4:So that's something.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I'm going to pick Josh on this one solely because when he was talking about escalators and stairs, I had an image of like a Jerry Seinfeld zombie who's just doing. A saturday is like what's the deal with doorknobs?
Speaker 4:You can't turn on the zombie, you just bump into them all day.
Speaker 3:And then there's those smart survivors that just stand right on the other side of the glass door staring at you and you can't open the door. Yeah, I want to find this guy over here. That's like, I don't know, like laying on the ground or something, or dressing up like a clown.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so somebody that's like tries to climb a tree and then falls out and breaks his leg, and then he's like, oh, I did a dumb thing and now zombies are chasing me.
Speaker 4:I already do that too. When they like line the house, the outside of the house, with treadmills, they're like zombie protection, I think it's.
Speaker 2:That's a creative solution. Ok, this is the last question. Right now. We got a tie between Laurie and Josh. Eric, let's see what happens. It's going to be rough if we, if you give Eric the point, dan, but you can.
Speaker 1:I mean, you know what happens, happens, yeah, right.
Speaker 2:You get bit and become a zombie. What are you most likely wearing until you rot?
Speaker 5:I wonder if it's going to be my blessing or my curse that I just let the first thing that come to my head just go with it. Perfect.
Speaker 1:Usually the first instinct is the best instinct.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you all look ready to answer this one, or do you need to think about it? All right, all right, laura, you went first. Right the last time. Yeah, I did, ok, eric.
Speaker 5:I'm going with the Lady Gaga meat dress from the VMA. I'm wearing it. I'm now a zombie. I'm not concerned about getting bit, it's already happened. I'm wearing the Lady Gaga meat dress down into and then I will just go back into the earth. One day. Some animals are going to come and try to eat me as a zombie. It's fine, let's just do this. But I'm going out in fashion and in a horrible carcass. That is so fitting for apocalypse.
Speaker 2:I have a follow up to this, which is like in what scenario are you wearing Lady Gaga's meat dress? When you get bit by zombies?
Speaker 5:I'm walking through the fall woods just looking for, I'm looking for. Yes, I am a peeping leafer and just kind of in the meat dress, the hat to and the heels with the, with the meat wrapped around the, just the whole ensemble.
Speaker 2:So rotting meat on rotting meat Got to duck in.
Speaker 5:You're like yeah, you know, it's a meat, that's a shag.
Speaker 3:You're the golden stag for my meat puppets. They're. You're what we've been hunting for this entire week, crossing the entire street looking for you.
Speaker 5:Congrats, you found the final boss. Like you know, this is it.
Speaker 4:Lord, can you imagine? I mean in the woods around. Turn around, we go back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so if you get that and become a zombie, what are you?
Speaker 3:wearing Josh. So you know, I thought I thought we were going off like what we are typically wearing and I'm like these days, like 80 percent of the time I'm on zoom meetings. So I was going to go with zoom clothes where, like right now, I'm wearing like a nice suit and tie but I'm also wearing shorts and so I'm walking around like my shorts and like my floofy socks and so, like I really want to be that zombie in the movie that's like in the background, like you have the horde of zombies, but there's always that weird like football gear zombie, like that got bit apparently like playing a football game. Yeah, clown zombie.
Speaker 4:Man.
Speaker 3:I want to be like weird, like suit and tie and short sky or whatever you know. So that are you know if I can wear my like swan suit? I guess I'll wear that.
Speaker 2:What's the color of floofy sock? I'm picturing pink, but I don't know if this is accurate.
Speaker 3:You as funny as actually pink. Yes, I got neon pink floofy socks.
Speaker 4:Lori no well, when I feel anxious, I like to wear a Pikachu onesie Adult size. Pikachu onesie yes, so I will be wearing that for comfort when I get bit by a zombie. So I will be wondering eternity as Pikachu, pikachu onesie Lori, I have the Pikachu onesie Great choice we can.
Speaker 3:It's the hanging extras meets the closet.
Speaker 1:Which one do I wear today? Pikachu, onesie or meets Come on.
Speaker 3:Well, you know you, lori, you're like perfect for the for that car.
Speaker 4:I was going to say that we could match Eric Matching Pikachu. Oh yeah, the absolute. Yeah, we have two.
Speaker 5:We have two actually. So look, Josh, you got one too.
Speaker 3:Let's go, we can all be. We can be a band of Pikachu zombies, yeah.
Speaker 4:Pikachu in the apocalypse.
Speaker 1:Pikachu gang, that's the gang, and then when you're going to like, when you corner up on somebody that you're, you're hunting down to eat them. You'd be like I choose you.
Speaker 4:No, we just say Pika in like a.
Speaker 5:I choose you. Babe Brittany, Can I be like that?
Speaker 3:Can I be like the Mr Mime? That's like I'm the one in person, the group that didn't get the memo, and I just dressed up as a Mr Mime. Is there just creepy anyway?
Speaker 4:I hate those. Yeah, that would hurt.
Speaker 3:So they'd be perfect for the Colosseum scene. You always have that zombie Colosseum that shows up eventually, like someone always sets up a zombie Colosseum so they can throw out the zombie Pikachu and then we can have it fight Britney Spears.
Speaker 4:Yeah, nice.
Speaker 1:This is a tough decision, because I really love the idea of zombie Pikachu I don't know Especially just the Pikachu onesie as a survival item of clothing, because I mean, why not? I mean, if you give it to me, then I can win and we don't have to do a playoff. Unfortunately, when Eric said I just about peed my pants.
Speaker 4:You can't be in the apocalypse would be scary as is.
Speaker 3:It's where I'm. Just you know you can wear a little little seasoning all over your shoulders to yeah.
Speaker 5:Yes, it is seasoned with the wine and garlic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, delicious.
Speaker 2:I know you didn't plan this, but we do have a three way tie.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's how weird that happened.
Speaker 2:How weird. So what is?
Speaker 1:the time we're going to be.
Speaker 2:We didn't. I honestly didn't plan for this.
Speaker 1:I mean we could, we could go with a question that we didn't ask there's there's definitely one that I think is a good question, and this could be the tiebreaker.
Speaker 3:Just make it really brainy, like the Webster's dictionary, to find zombie as this. Can you conjugate that?
Speaker 1:Question number five Leah, this sounds mysterious.
Speaker 2:We've been watching a lot of reality TV, so this makes sense that you want to ask this one.
Speaker 3:I don't see it on the spreadsheet, I'm sure.
Speaker 2:Oh, you want me to ask it, right, yes? What reality TV show would best prepare you for surviving a zombie apocalypse?
Speaker 5:Oh, my God, oh no.
Speaker 2:Got the countdown going right now. I feel like, laura, you're googling quickly, I am. I'm looking at the name of it.
Speaker 4:That's it. Ok, I got it. I was like I can't remember. The name of the show needs to be accurate.
Speaker 2:Does anyone need more time? No, now, all right. So I think, josh, you get to answer the last question first Sounds like fun.
Speaker 3:All right. I am torn between two shows that I absolutely loved. One was called, One was called the Colony. It was a. It was one where they got people in LA and they put them all in a little warehouse and they're like kind of abandoned section of LA and made them live there for like 10 weeks and all these people had to survive and they made it like a post-apocalyptic scenario and they had like biker gangs that would show up and bang on the walls and these people started like believing they were there. There was this guy named the professor and he just like stripped out naked, like standing in the rain. He's like taught him how to like.
Speaker 3:I learned a lot. I learned how to build a wood gasifier stove and all this and how to how to daisy chain batteries. From this they made like these poles that actually zap people. At one point they like broke containment. In real life they actually climbed into these people's backyard and started ripping oranges off their tree.
Speaker 3:So it's like the third season of the show actually got canceled because of like insanity on set that like people were going nuts and actually like attacking people's houses and stuff and like it was nuts, and so it's a toss up between that or a kid nation. Kid nation was one that was way back in the day. That was like it's so horrible. I watched it once and I'm like this is like my nightmare as a director at a camp. Like this is what would happen if all the counselors just and so I always treat the counselors really nice, because it's like all these kids were moved to an old West abandoned town and they like had to live there for a year and their parents didn't even know exactly what this was. So in their parents this was legal.
Speaker 4:Yeah, there's a lot of questions about this.
Speaker 3:Actually it's a whole debate now. They actually study these kids. They're adults now and a lot of them are like half have like big problems and they're half are like CEOs, like really bizarre, like these kids were like they had a tornado go through, something lit on fire and they started their own little rival gangs. There's like the arcade versus like versus the candy shop and they like, like the kids killed a chicken and like, and they're like their parents showed up, they're like, yeah, this is the chicken we killed. And the parents are like, what did I send my kid to? I thought it was like a summer camp and so watch, watch it up and like, watch the highlights from it. It's horror, it's like horrifying. So between the two of those, I'm pretty good, I think I'm, I think I'm ready Rock.
Speaker 2:I haven't seen either, but I got to say my inner, like former human subject researchers, like Kid Nations oh, both of them. Both of them are problematic.
Speaker 5:I was digging in that show.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, Both of them are like psychological studies now. They're like they look at both like the colony and Kid Nation. They're both like actually be used in a lot of studies.
Speaker 2:This is going to be in textbooks, with the fucked up things we did in the reality TV or to each other. Yeah, it's like a monkey.
Speaker 3:It's like that monkey, that, that monkey that didn't have like a towel at barbed wire, yet a barbed wire monkey, and it grew up.
Speaker 5:Oh yes.
Speaker 3:And then there's a towel, and it's like, it's like that, but with people, so it's really cool.
Speaker 2:Fantastic. It's really definitely would meet all of the informed consent rules. Lori, what about you?
Speaker 4:I'm going to go full on flavor of love. You guys are not familiar with this show. It's a bunch of women who are fighting to win over the real life, flavor of life. Now, in the apocalypse, you can use this to fight your friends and enemies, to win over your cannibalistic overlord with his swan buddy and his child on his back. That's what you need to do. People figure out a slayer.
Speaker 5:That chicken.
Speaker 4:Your wine and garlic sauce to win the contest and win your place with your cannibalistic overlord.
Speaker 2:Grand prize In love with reality. And I got to say that in New York. I don't know if anyone remembers New York, oh, yes, tiffany Pollard the stairs is a really great technique for, like I don't know which, shooting on the stairs stop a zombie. I guess you might slip Maybe.
Speaker 5:It's just wild to me. There is a show where the grand prize was flavor, just like the one with what was his name, brett Michaels. That was another one, right? Where's the same?
Speaker 3:concept. I was at, eric. What do you think you're on? That is the grand prize here for flavor. Flavor is coming to visit. I'm going to put them in a swan suit.
Speaker 4:It's going to be great. I was like directly correlates to how the apocalypse will look, mm.
Speaker 3:I'm not, I'm, not, I'm not, I really badly want to make a zombie bachelor show like a mockumentary and just have like people like trying to like woo the cannibal person dancing thing, like during the apocalypse, eric, you're last but not least.
Speaker 5:So I changed my answer like I was thinking about it and I thought OK, well, what's popular in pop culture right now? You guys just did an episode on zombie. The zombie was a zombie verse, right?
Speaker 4:Yeah, I think that show.
Speaker 5:However. No, then I remembered this thing that I had heard about and you guys have probably heard about it too. There is this show called Susunu in Asia, with the gentleman who was put under. He was basically put in a box for like 300 and something days and he kept getting moved around. It was a Truman s thing. The guy's name was, I believe it was Nassubi, but it was basically like this show, where they took this guy and they like it was like a survival-esque kind of concept and like he was left in a box and it was like a psychological torture basically. And so I'm like, OK, it's really really wild, you should look into it, because it's very, very dark but very intriguing and interesting as well. But I mean, I guess in that sense we're like you're learning about being isolated and having to keep yourself isolated, Like that could be some beneficial benefits there in a zombie world.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think our new podcast is like what's the difference between reality TV and psychological torture? Because I'm not sure there is one anymore.
Speaker 2:That is very true. Yeah, dan, it is time for you to break the tie. Is it?
Speaker 3:too late to change my answer to. Is it cake Like? I feel like that's not a bad one too. Is that a zombie? Or is it cake man? Oh man, oh God.
Speaker 1:This is really tough, all the pressures on you Is what RuPaul's life is like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is so long I feel like I am RuPaul right now, you can join the um, the um, the um the podcast. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I've made my decision.
Speaker 4:Danny Flappers.
Speaker 1:You know I I'm going to go with Laurie on this one, because flavor of love is like it's. It's a course in how to develop social relationships in a wasteland.
Speaker 4:Yeah, something you really don't want, yeah.
Speaker 3:And I feel like to live with a rough cries and zombie apocalypse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like that's a lesson that we can end on in this competition which brings us up.
Speaker 2:So first of all, yeah, laurie will. Yeah, and participation prizes Josh and Eric, which is basically just be going good for you. Thanks for joining.
Speaker 5:I'm taking my garlic and wine seasoning and I'm out of here.
Speaker 2:Life changing choice in front of you. There are two different prize options and you get to pick. Will you pick door number one, which is my choice, or door number two, which is dance choice?
Speaker 3:Now is she a zombie? Because they can't open doors. We established that it's so frustrating. You have these choices, but you can't get the prize.
Speaker 4:I'm seeing that Leah joined the little mermaid call signs. She's part of the Fanny Flappers precious moments. I'm going to go with Leah.
Speaker 2:I appreciate that. I hope you love your your prize. One moment we're going to put it in the chat for you. Excellent, and you get to describe for everybody what it is.
Speaker 3:It looks like an Amazon product description. Again it's like a link.
Speaker 4:Excuse me, it is the three foot Halloween car, zombie baby and flatable sitting car decoration. Blow up yard car, zombie baby with built in a B for car, garden, lawn and decor.
Speaker 1:Yes, this is going to look great in your car.
Speaker 5:Now you can ride in the age of my children with this Right now you can ride the age of Elaine.
Speaker 4:What's that? No, we're totally terrifying the kids with it. It's going to sit right in between them.
Speaker 2:That is wonderful, because you need to tell us a share, a picture of it when you get it.
Speaker 4:How do I do that? Oh, not on the on. That, no, no, we'll be. Oh, my God, it's in your car right now. Holy moly. It's everything you hoped for and more it like takes up the whole seat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you want to know the grand prize you would have gotten if you picked door number two. Yeah, let's take a look. All right, one moment.
Speaker 3:It's like. It's like your own personal little gymnast.
Speaker 4:You can take the baby and put it on your back.
Speaker 3:Exactly what it is, I could put it on my back and walk around, Go down to the bank or whatever you know. Oh my God.
Speaker 1:You really dodged the ball and I was like, oh man.
Speaker 3:I like it. I'm loving round two goose.
Speaker 4:Are you ready? Goose, forefoot, halloween. Inflatable baby outdoor decoration blow up yard scary zombie baby with built in LEDs for indoor garden lawn party decor. It's the same baby but it's crawling and its mouth is open, and that is nightmare fuel people.
Speaker 3:That would look handsome in the dining room.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying I was like are you glad you stay with the Fanny Folle? Oh, I am, I'm so glad that we chose that first option.
Speaker 4:He could sit in the car and not blow away. I feel like the other one. I'd have to stick him to the ground in order for him not to blow away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Unfortunately, they didn't make them any bigger than four feet tall.
Speaker 2:Oh my Lord, you guys are trying to find larger.
Speaker 4:I think you're like a 17 foot blow up inflatable baby.
Speaker 2:So, lord, we'll be asking you for your mailing address later, or you can just sign up, create a wish list and we'll mail it to you.
Speaker 4:But for now.
Speaker 2:thank you all so much for making my zombie weaned dreams come true. This is the best Halloween zombie wean ever. The first one also, and before we close the day, is there any final closing words of wisdom that you would like to share with the audience, eric? Oh yeah.
Speaker 5:Well, like I said, you can find me at Eric Lloyd Designs dot com or on Instagram at Eric zero one zero or Eric Lloyd Designs. And take care of yourselves, take care of your loved ones, be good to the world, be good to yourself. And, yeah, take care. That's the sweet, eric.
Speaker 2:Josh.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I have to say, you know, come join the cannibals. I was like it's wise. You know we have hamburger helper and swans, so that's pretty fun. But yeah, and again, you know I'm working on I just opened up that that crowdfunding, for there are my film husk If you want to come support a film and get to meet some of those actors or get the autographs and things. We have all sorts of really cool prizes and 5% of it goes to childhood disease research and treatment and so so we're giving money away to that which you're supporting, a good cause. And if you're part of this whole network, I give a bit of money to Leah and Dan. If, if you sign up and say, hey, I'm, you know, I know Leah and Dan, or let them know and they can let me know and I'll happily give some of that money to them as well. As a nice as a nice thank you, because I love you. Thanks.
Speaker 2:Josh, this is we did. Actually, you are paying out. You're paying us to tell us how great we are. This is great, I'm really bad deal here as the winner of the inaugural zombie game show, what are your final thoughts?
Speaker 4:All right, people's well again. I'm Lori Calcuttaire. I'm the writer, creator of Path of the Pale writer. You can find me on all the socials. If you look up Path of the Pale writer or Lori Calcuttaire, I pop up. I also have a show on Tuesdays called the Tuesday morning brew. You can see me on the comic related madness network at 11 am Eastern Standard Time, where we do interview indie, indie creators and I also do hijinks like Smash Watermelons and pumpkins. My words for you are apocalyptic base. Remember, in the apocalypse, swords don't run out of bullet.
Speaker 1:It's good advice, unless it's a gunblade how fancy.
Speaker 2:Well, I think we'll do our little outro after this day, but for now we could all end just again. Thank you so much. This was super fun If we could all just end by saying happy, how happy Halloween. Fuck that Happy zombie ween. Yeah, we celebrate one, two, three to say goodbye to our listeners. One, two, three, happy zombie ween.
Speaker 5:Weeners.
Speaker 3:Oh, my mermaid.
Speaker 1:Whoa, that was. That was crazy. That was a good time, wasn't it, leah?
Speaker 2:I think my brain is broken because they were also quick fucking with it. I could not keep up Like it was amazing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there were times when, when they would just, they would just go into their descriptions, you know, and I'm like, like you know, I'm really glad that all I have to do is sit here and smile.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they were on. Yeah, they were hilarious.
Speaker 1:I love, I love those people.
Speaker 2:I do too, and truly, laurie, eric, josh, you need to collab and create this, because I think a really great movie or book has emerged, particularly with eating Big Bird, I mean to see this happen. And the fanny flapper, precious moments.
Speaker 1:But thanks, thanks everybody for listening. This is this is our first annual zombie ween game show. We mentioned that earlier, but we're saying it again because we wanted. We want to do something like this, if not this exact thing, every ween.
Speaker 2:I mean, you always need a weiner for something.
Speaker 1:But let us, let us know what your favorite part of the show was. Did I get it right? Did I, did I score everything correctly? Would you have picked a different person? For whatever answer you know?
Speaker 2:I mean it was a tough race. I didn't deserve the win, but Josh and Eric were like right on her heels.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there were some really good answers there. I can't deny. Yeah, so don't forget, we are reading for episode 25. We're reading a book. It's called Clay's Ark by Octavia Butler, the visionary Octavia Butler, that's right. I haven't read this yet.
Speaker 2:Now that I've read it. But it's Octavia Butler, so I am motivated to read it because she's the best, incredible author. You've not read an Octavia Butler book. I promise you you will not be disappointed. I don't care what book it is, and in this case it's Clay's Ark. It's an extraterrestrial zombie story.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so there's a. This is part of a series and so you know, when I looked it up, I had to like Wikipedia this because, like, I'm like how is book one like in the 80s but book three is in 1976, like when she wrote it? But they're like all, like they're all standalone stories and then there's only like a suggested order that you read them in. There's what five, five in the series I have no idea.
Speaker 2:I think it's five. I have no idea. You're asking the person to remember the thing. That's a fact now there's five.
Speaker 1:There's five. Go read all five. So she can't practice.
Speaker 2:Just read Clay's Ark for now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm really curious what the car families are.
Speaker 2:I mean, they're probably living in cars. Yeah, I think that might be what it means. What are they singing? Little mermaid songs.
Speaker 1:They better be, but it was written before the little mermaid came out, so is there a tree in somebody's trunk that they're carrying? Yeah, there might be. What kind of seasonings do they use? Don't forget to subscribe. You know we don't say it enough, but this is a podcast and you can subscribe to it. But that's the best way to support us. But you can also rate and review. I prefer five stars, nothing lower than 4.9. For sure, let's stick with five.
Speaker 2:Somebody actually took it seriously when we said, like, please give us a four. And now it's forever haunting me that we made that joke.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but thanks for listening everybody. You can follow us on Instagram and threads. There's a link tree in our description, but also in our description for this episode is going to be all the links for Lori Lori Calcutta, a former person, formerly known as Brandon Joshua, joshua Grant, joshua Grant and also Eric, our good friend, who does this design stuff. He's on the Instagram. He makes funny things.
Speaker 2:He has also on TikTok probably the same handles. I don't know, but he's really funny. Yeah, I'm tired. This is getting bad. At the end you can just edit this out.
Speaker 1:No, I think we're doing great Leah, but anyways, happy zombie ween everyone.
Speaker 2:Happy zombie ween.
Speaker 1:Yeah, see you next time.
Speaker 2:Bye everybody, Bye Yep.